Volcanic Sacrifices

you can...

2006-03-09T13:22:00.000-08:00

now reach my blog at the new home of the volcanic sacrifices at:

http://www.volcanicsacrifices.com/blog

i don't know my RSS feed (i still haven't a clue WTF it is...) but dale will get it & update this post in a little bit. please change all your links for me? thanks a million! :)

see you in the volcano!

Addendum:
My RSS feed can be located at:
http://www.volcanicsacrifices.com/blog/?feed=rss2

enough is enough!

2006-03-09T13:18:00.000-08:00

"Tha's all I can stands, and I can't stands no more!"

-Popeye, the sailor man

its been an arduous morning....to say the least. the preceeding thursday thirteen you see here is my last real post i'll be making on blogger.

i've had it. it took not one, not two, not even three...but FOUR (4) attempts at getting that thing posted. hell...even getting it saved on the site!

lately, no matter how hard i tweak my HTML, it always comes out weirdly spaced.
its never formatted the way that i had it originally done.
it takes forever for me to get logged on. only to get booted out of the system
publishing lately has become just about as hard as it would be for me to win a nobel.
it only works as well as my former neighbor (and since he was unemployed....)
its downtime is a crap shoot anymore....and we all know that i don't gamble.

so, i've had it. finito. fini. beendet. τελειωμένος. 終えられる. закончено. acabado. finished.

in the immortal words of heidi klum (of project runway fame) "auf wiedersehen".

and no....there will be no kiss goodbye.

its another....Thursday 13!!

2006-03-09T11:41:00.000-08:00

(yes....i stole my boyfriend's template...since he hasn't made me one. but tweaked it a little for me....)

"Arthur glanced around him once more, and then down at himself, at the sweaty disheveled clothes he had been lying in the mud in on Thursday morning. 'I seem to be having tremendous difficulty with my lifestyle,' he muttered to himself."

–Douglas Adams
Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Thursday "it's all about" 13 of Claudia.
(my 2nd eldest daughter)

1. was born on december 20, 1995...making her a cusp baby sagittarius/capricorn.
2. that being said, she's 10.....going on 13. (my worst fears are coming true)
3. still keeps her blankie that she came home from the hospital with. (its the binkie)
4. is very much a girly-girl....pink, barbies, baby-dolls...the like. (much to my chagrin)
5. love to dance & sing....although she's totally uncoordinated & can't do either well. (i would never tell her that though...)
6. is getting into her own music....gwen, hillary & lindsay. (good lord....the TEEN years are coming!!)
7. loves playing soccer & being on the school CC team....but HATES to run. (i know...my daughter...the conundrum..)
8. is my twin. in physical beauty, vocal talents & deep within our souls. wanna know who i was as a kid...check out claudia! :)
9. thinks that i'm the funniest person on the planet. (she doesn't get out much...i know...)
10. for being a slobby person....is one of the cleanest people i know. (she's addicted to taking showers...lol!)
11. thinks of herself as "Jr. Mom" and plays her part to a "T". (and the others do NOT appreciate the devotion she puts into her role...lol!)
12. talks in her sleep.....A LOT. also drools. (god, she's going to kill me...lol! i think she gets it from her father's side...)
13. is also a lovely disco dancer.....i think with her sister's assistance! :).

Links to other Thursday Thirteens! (leave your link in comments, I'll add you here!)

DC Roe...the babe
Caryn
Chickadee
Chris....the twin
Colleen
Courtney
Karen
Kimmy

Laura
Nello
Shannon
Suz
Whiskey Talking
Harmonia
doug
Kate
D
Lucy

I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things in the comments.

View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

shocked?!?!?!?!?

2006-03-08T07:46:00.000-08:00

i'm not. lol!! ahhh....romance......

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

'The Bachelor' Couple Say Romance Is Over

NASHVILLE, Tenn. (March 7) - Humphrey Bogart said it to Ingrid Bergman in "Casablanca" and now Dr. Travis Stork can say it to Sarah Stone: "We'll always have Paris."

Stork, an emergency room physician, chose Stone, an elementary school teacher, in the finale of ABC's "The Bachelor: Paris" last week. The couple told The Tennessean in a joint interview Monday they are no longer a couple.
Stork, 33, said the rules that prohibited them from dating or being together in public between the end of the show's taping in November and the Feb. 27 finale were hard on their relationship.

The France-set "Bachelor" deployed 25 women to vie for Stork's affections during a series of glamorous dates. The season began in January.

"You're in Paris and you're part of this incredible experience, this fantasy world, and then suddenly you come back to Nashville, and living in the same city I think we thought was going to be a great thing," he said. "But instead, you're forced to pretend you don't know someone, for essentially the last four months.

"The reality is that we were in this fantasy world. And now that we're back in Nashville, over time when you're not allowed to see someone, you grow apart."
Stone, 26, said, "I definitely think it would've worked out differently" if she and Stork had met and dated under different circumstances.

"We wouldn't have had all the baggage that comes from being on this show. It would just be the two of us being able to hang out and get to know each other in a normal situation," she said.
Both said they remain single and unattached and that they had no regrets about doing the show.

"Through this time, we realized that it was a great experience in Paris and that we're so lucky to have met one another in Paris, and we'll never forget that," Stone said. "And we both agree and know that we'll be friends forever."

Asked if they might reconnect romantically after publicity has died down, both just laughed.

03/07/06 18:14 EST

Copyright 2006 The Associated Press. The information contained in the AP news report may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or otherwise distributed without the prior written authority of The Associated Press.

what is wrong...

2006-03-06T22:09:00.000-08:00

with my kid?? 18 going on 12..... UGH!

i swear, i love her to pieces. but one day i'm going to beat the ever lovin' shit out of her....again.

my eldest...she's a sweetheart. she really is. but she's also a master manipulator. (i think she gets that from her mother.....UGH) she knows how to work me, which buttons to push & how to twist that knife. right about now....i want to pummel her. its a good thing she's at the mall.

she doesn't go to college. she only works PT at target. she spends more than she makes. she loves to incite arguments between me & her father. she plays us against each other.

right now she's at the mall. nordstroms to be exact (i don't know what her f*ing obsession with that store is...i swear to god). she's been gone since 5. spending her paycheck she just got the other day.....roughly $160 gone. (must be nice.) she gets a call from her father, who tells her to be home by 10 (but which she says he yelled at her) and so she calls ME to tell ME to tell HIM to let HER come home when SHE is ready.

i told her NO. (which means she's pissed off at me now...) i am TIRED of being her go-between to dad. i am TIRED of having her ask me to treat her like an adult, yet she acts like a child constantly. she needs to call her own dad & tell him that her friend drove her & she will be home as quickly as she can get there.

i can't blame her completely. its her family....well, her mother's family. they learn this crap & teach it to the younger generations. manipulation, greed, mistrust, conceit, contempt & denial. these are their moral fibers. that's all they know. they are horrid people. really. just thinking about them, gets my stomach all upset.

this is why i need to get her out of here. get her away from all these people. she needs some stability. morals, values, decency. somewhere that i can reinstall all the things that i taught her & that she seemed to have lost in the year she lived with her grandmother.

i'm just so upset right now. i can't even see straight. ugh....what does it take to make someone realize that you love them & all you want to do is help them be better? be the best that they can possibly be? to achieve their ultimate self??

i think i'll go to bed now.....and cry.

oscar worthy?

2006-03-05T08:28:00.000-08:00

IT'S OSCAR DAY!!!

we're all abuzz out here in tinsel-town. probably the one night that hollywood shines....and we all don't look like complete loonies out west.

that being said....

what do you think? am i oscar material? do you think i could garner one of the little gold men?

best actress....that'd be my category. i'm acting all the time....like i care, like i'm sorry, like i'm sad....and i've got that whole acting 'mad' schtick down to a "T". and to boot? i can do it in a TON of different accents! (i'm really talented...or so i've been told by friends, loved ones & drama teachers....lol!)

i'll get up there & be just like babs & utter my own.... "hello, gorgeous!".

"oh my goodness! i can't believe this. well, i can. since i'm so GD good at what i do. but who am i to tell you all that? you VOTED for me! (insert fake laugh track here) this is really an honor for me. really. i've been looking for one of these for years. you can never find one going for a decent price on eBay. jesus, its much heavier than i thought it'd be! wild!"

"i guess i should start off by thanking the academy. i don't know why.... but it seems that everyone thanks them first, so why fudge with tradition? but thanks, so much, for this great little guy. who will become my new momma's boy shortly. sorry jake."

"speaking of jake.....i'd like to thank my kids. liz, gabe, lea, jake.....you guys keep me heavily stocked in fart jokes & smelly clothes. you're the ones who picked up where nana left off. i'd have never reached this plateau of insanity, if it weren't for you 4. so, thanks. no really....this is not sarcasm. well, ok....its a little sarcasm."

"mom....dad. thanks. for doing.....whatever it was that you did, to make me such a funny, clever, intelligent, sweet, fun-loving, passionate, wild, incredibly gorgeous....oh yeah...and humble person that i am today. i'd also like to thank you both for cracking my psyche into a million little pieces, that turned me into this raving lunatic you see before you today. thanks. you guys are GREAT!"

"god. i don't know what you did, but thanks anywho. i'm just saying....remember this. to cancel out all the bad shit i've done lately, you know? i mean....come on! i'll share oscar with you.....if you ask.....nicely."

"bubba & kat. thanks for making me feel SO much worse about myself than i already do. its so wonderful to have 2 younger siblings....who are so much taller....and so much thinner....than i am. no....really....you two helped emphasize the 'raving' part. you're so great. and no, oscar can't come over for a sleep-over. sorry."

"fred, my beloved fred. king of the cats. my knight in fuzzy white armour. you've been my constant companion, friend, alarm clock & sleeping buddy for years now. and really, you're the only one who hasn't done anything to piss me off or contribute to my insanity. so thanks for that. at least there's some hope for me, huh?"

"and i'm not going to pull a 'hilary swank' & forget my man. so, dc. this is for you babe! WE DID IT!! well....i did it. but you can say you helped! that's gotta be something, right? who's not going to publish the boyfriend of an oscar winner now, hmmmm?? we'll get 'em babe! you'll see!!"

"well....i guess that's everyone. thanks again so much. this is truly a great honor. and now, in the immortal words of my beloved brother, bubba..... 'GET BENT, AMERICA!' night all!"

that's how it would go.... but alas...i'm not nominated this year... (i've SO got to talk to my people.....::UGH::). so, i'll sit at home like the rest of america. watching my gold man go to someone else.

it's so sad. he would have made a great spare TP holder....

CALLING ALL GEEKS!!!

2006-03-04T09:02:00.000-08:00

wanted: extra smart computer geek for help with flash animation & graphics design.

project: the new home of the VOLCANIC SACRIFICES. need someone to develop my idea of a sacrificial site into a reality....well, a virtual reality
compensation: my undying gratitude & one of jen's FABULOUSLY WONDERFUL gift baskets!
project start date: as soon as humanly possible.
project theme: think.....Joe vs the Volcano........that should do it nicely.

it's.....Thursday Thirteen....again! :)

2006-03-02T06:29:00.000-08:00

Thursday "it's all about" Thirteen of Gabe (my eldest son)

1. was born on August 22, 1997....which makes him a leo. (grrrrrrr....baby!)
2. had a head so large (i'm not being mean....it's true!) that he couldn't sit up on his own until he was almost 5 months old. it was (ok, i'll be honest....it still is) a big old noggin.
3. suffers from Aspergers Syndrome. which is a mild form of autism. which loosely translates into he's smart as a whip, but appears standoffish about it.
4. even though he's only 8, he's already had 24 stitches in his lifetime. (he's a really klutzy kid.)
5. is a MASTER at the gamecube. and i do mean master. I even go to him for game help. (yes, he's addicted.....::SIGH::)
6. is quite an accomplished artist for 8. he can always be found making mom a picture of dinosaurs, dragons or spiderman. (yeah...i know....weird selection....)
7. is currently on a 5th grade reading level. and the kicker?? he doesn't read all that much. (ok, so, i brag about my kids accomplishments...)
8. has a girlfriend. although i'm not really sure HOW at this point. (this kid has a hard time asking me to go outside....much less asking a girl to be his.....weird)
9. has been a spiderman addict since, i think, conception. (he totally reminds me of my brother)
10. has a weird attachment to small stuffed animals. he loves them. sometimes, i'll admit, its creepy. (ok....really creepy)
11. is an "irish twin" of his older sister, claudia (who will be on the next edition of TT). they are 18 months apart.
12. desperately wants a puppy....but is going to have to wait until we move. (and maybe until fifi kicks the bucket :) )
13. was my best surprise baby. they said he was a girl....for every ultrasound. his name was supposed to be Robin Michelle. (he still giggles about this factoid.)

Links to other Thursday Thirteens!

1. DC Roe....my babe
2. Chris.....my twin
3. Shannon
4. Suz
5. Harmonia
6. doug
7. Uisce
8. Kelly
9. Laura
10. Kate
11. Kimmy
12. Karen
13. Courtney
14. D
15. Colleen
16. Caryn
17. Lucy

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

the dusting

2006-03-01T06:44:00.000-08:00

of the foreheads.

yes, folks....its ash Wednesday. the lenten season is upon us. translation = today i starve...along with good friday, for the next 40 days i get to feel like crap about shit i've done, fish will be a mainstay in my diet & and its easter egg dying season!

you've got to admit....catholics got some weird traditions. now, i won't knock my religion. hell no. my mom raised me better than that. but when lent season comes along....i know how catholic mothers can get so good at that catholic guilt thing.

so, i've been wondering. what am i guilty about this lent? and what am i prepared to give up?

today is my penance day. i need to admit to something horrible & feel like shit for it....all day. and then carry that guilt for 40 days. 40 looooooooong days. and to add insult to injury, you've also got to give up something. i don't know what i'm going to lose this year. i've been racking my brain for weeks now. but no circumventing the admission thing....

i'm guilty for a lot of shit. a lot. i'll be the first to admit....i'm no angel. i'm in no way near perfect. (make note of this....for while i'm admitting it now...i'm not likely to during a non-lent season...) but i've got to atone for something that's really bad. or something that has caused me to overly dwell on or fester about. hmmmmmmmm.......

ok, i think i've got it. more about this one later on....

now what do i want to give up? i don't have any vices anymore. well, ones that aren't illegal or bad for you. ok....totally bad for you. i cuss up a storm....but i don't think i'll be giving this one up. i like it too fucking much. (oooh...my bad....i don't ordinarily cuss on here, do i?) but i'm kinda stuck. i could give up fatty foods, sweets, soda, manicures, pedicures, eating out, frivolous shopping, yelling at the kids (um....no....that one stays...), there is always my gaming, my obsession with shoes, my weekly VS sprees?

well, what are some suggestions from the peanut gallery? anyone, anyone?

technical difficulties

2006-02-27T17:35:00.000-08:00

i am so sorry. i have not blogged in, what seems like, forever. but i've been having technical difficulties. both technological & individual.

technological - have you noticed just how much blogger sucks lately? its always got a problem. there is always something wrong. i swear to god, blogger reminds me of my father some days.....always some new ailment, always some new affliction. i wonder if its a hypochondriac like dad is?? sorry dad.

its been so bad, people are fleeing....like rats from a sinking ship. (and on a side note.....guess who's jumping soon??? more on that and the NEW home (and ideas) for 'The New Volcanic Sacrifices'....coming up this week!) speaking of.....have you checked out DC's new digs?? can we all say, "nice"?? lol!!

individual - this has been a mixed emotion week. Saturday was the surprise baby shower for my best friend, tanya (who i'm dropping massive hints about being godmommy about...lol!). she's having a little girl. we're so excited.

well....anywho, i get a call Saturday morning. from my twin, chris. uncle bob passed away. and its so very sad. i only knew him briefly, but he was such a wonderful man. so kind & gentle.

its always sad when beloved family members pass on. but its mixed emotions when they were so sick, there really was no quality of life. and now, we all know that he's not in pain or sick anymore. my heart aches for my twin. she loved him so. and she's already endured so much since jerold passed too.

and to add insult to injury, her grandmother (uncle bob's mom) isn't doing so hot either. she's ready to go to the great beyond now too. so, right now i'm just praying that my twin can make it through the next few weeks. she's an amazing woman, but has an incredible vulnerable side that not many know. and this is going to be so very hard for her. so very hard. i'm thinkin' about ya twin!! xoxoxo!!

yesterday....i had yet another, in another long line of, fight with you know who. it seems like he actually gets off making me miserable. i swear....one of these days i'm going to snap. and you're going to read about some psychotic woman in pico rivera, california....who went beserk & mutilated her ex-husband. i'm not kidding here, folks. he's a looney & he's going to pitch me off the deep end one of these days.....

thank god we're moving soon.

and today.....well.....its the 36th birthday of my beloved henry. well, would have been his 36th birthday. and its just made me unbelievably sad. i miss him more that i realized. we didn't talk all that often since i moved out here, but when we did, it was like time hadn't even passed a moment between us.

and its so very sad. he was so young. and he was my confidant, co-conspirator, party pal....friend. and now he's gone. and today.....wow. i miss him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

on another note, since i've been absent, we had my favorite activity. Thursday thirteen! and i'm so very sorry i didn't visit anyone. i suck....i know.

many, MANY thanks to my friends who came to see me.....

Tayna
Karri
Colleen
Nancy
Karen
Killired
Uisce
Kelly
Laura
Suz
Kate R
JK
Naomi

i SWEAR.....this week....i will be better. i promise. thanks for tolerating me.

i now return you to your regularly scheduled rain session. i'll be back on in a bit....dinner & natives are calling my name....

"........oh, jeni.......!!"

another.....Thursday Thirteen! :)

2006-02-22T22:23:00.000-08:00

Thursday "it's all about" Thirteen of Jenette (my eldest daughter)

1. has been my daughter since april 6, 1994....when i came into her life for GOOD. lol!
2. is a scorpio -- born november 15, 1987.
3. her current age is 18.....thinks she's 25.....mostly acts like she's 9.....ok, 10 (on good days...lol!)
4. is obsessed with shopping....especially for makeup & shoes (wonder where she gets that from?)
5. contracted hepatitis "A" when she was 5...and because her mother is such a loser, she didn't take her to the doctor until 8 days later. she had it full blown. and now can never donate blood cause her mother is a moron. (i have to get in my digs where i can, folks...lol!)
6. wants to go to college & study elementary education. she wants to be a 1st grade teacher! :)
7. cannot drive a car....no matter what she says. lol!!
8. is currently employed at Tar-jay.....she closes on most nights & likes to work CS. she's a workaholic. (which goes against everything she ever did as a kid...lol!!)
9. is a DIEHARD DODGER FAN!!! GO BLUE!!!
10. got a tattoo the day after her 18th birthday. its 3 stars. on her lower back. pink & blue. if you can't tell by my deadpanned description....i was/am not happy. but hell...she's 18 now.
11. was the SOLE reason for me becoming a mom....... (contrary to popular belief.....gives some of the BEST GD hugs on the planet!!)
12. is the proud owner of Mlle. Fifi Le Fleur. a very annoying, very obnoxious chihuahua. (as you can tell....i am not a fan of mlle. fifi.....grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr)
13. when coaxed properly....can make a WONDERFUL disco partner. (i don't think i was supposed to tell you all that....ooooops!)

Links to other Thursday Thirteens!

1. DC Roe....my babe
2. Chris.....my twin
3. Shannon
4. Suz
5. Harmonia
6. doug
7. Uisce
8. Kelly
9. Laura
10. Kate
11. Kimmy
12. Karen
13. Courtney
14. D
15. Colleen
16. Caryn
17. Lucy

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

for you, mom

2006-02-20T13:27:00.000-08:00

What have I got to do to make you love me
What have I got to do to make you care
What do I do when lightning strikes me
And I wake to find that you're not there

What do I do to make you want me
What have I got to do to be heard
What do I say when it's all over
And sorry seems to be the hardest word

It's sad, so sad
It's a sad, sad situation
And it's getting more and more absurd
It's sad, so sad
Why can't we talk it over
Oh it seems to me
That sorry seems to be the hardest word

What do I do to make you love me
What have I got to do to be heard
What do I do when lightning strikes me
What have I got to do
What have I got to do
When sorry seems to be the hardest word

****

please tune in....

2006-02-17T18:12:00.000-08:00

....now, most of you in the blogosphere know that d. challener & i are an item. like we really hide it from public view. lol!! we are best friends (since 87) & just so happen to be afianced. cohabitors, roomies, cuddle bugs. you get the idea. ;)

anywho....i know that my opinion is a biased one. but i can (on most occasions) give a completely unbiased opinion of practically anything. just ask my kids. sometimes i can be brutally honest. i've been told that its because i'm a sagittarius. (finally something that i can't blame on my mother...lol) the archer has the tendency to be blunt & to the point....and usually wind up with either the left, right or (as its happened to me before) both feet planted firmly within our teeth. i've stepped on more toes than i can count & i'm sure i've bruised an ego or two in my short tenure here on the 3rd rock from the sun.

i am the first editor on any of dale's pieces. i am also the most sharpest of his critics.

if its crap, i tell him so.
if it needs tweaking, i tell him so.
if it needs to be retooled, i tell him so.
if its excellent just the way it is, i tell him so. but usually in a hushed voice, so as not to inflate his ego; it cannot be larger than mine, cause after all....it's all about me. (sorry twin.)

so here's the deal-io, the low-down, the haps, the 411.

you've got to check out his latest work Run For Your Afterlife.

being an avid reader as well as a semi-devout, quasi-practicing roman catholic -- this story had me laughing my ass off. and i don't let my laugh or my ass go for a lot....well, not anymore. this piece is wonderfully written & terribly funny. i can just imagine dale sitting up on a cloud, way off to the side....doing some angel watching. he's got an incredible knack for becoming his character.

i giggle everytime i think about poor basil.

but you should read the story to find out why i giggle.

please give my sweetie a look-see. he'd appreciate it & i'd be ever grateful.

and it would look good on your heavenly resume!

A MAJOR DILEMMA

2006-02-16T17:37:00.000-08:00

my cookies are frosted....in a real bad way. so, i post to you, my readers, a question. well...several questions.

what is your stance on paroled sex offenders?
what would you do in a situation like this?

the jist:

My children attend an elementary in Pico Rivera, California. Their father also maintains a house there, that they live in 1/2 the time. Yesterday I received a letter from the kids school from Chuck Fuentes, City Manager of the City of Pico Rivera. It was informing parents & citizens that there was a community meeting THAT NIGHT at 6:30PM in City Hall. (click HERE for a typed copy of said letter)

It seems that State Parole Officers have been placing paroled & transient sex offenders in our cities motels and moving them EVERY 4 DAYS to avoid having to register them with our local authorities.

These sex offenders are being released & housed in our city WITHOUT OUR KNOWLEDGE. I believe that this violates existing state laws requiring sex offenders to be housed at least 1/2 a mile from schools. This practice most definitely leaves our city at risk.

I think that this is criminal.

And I'm also miffed and frankly disturbed that I received this notice with little more than 4 hours notice from the city about this meeting. And because so, I was not able to attend. I have 4 children. There is no way I can find emergency sitters at such short notice.

I can't believe that this city that I have entrusted with not only the education of my children, but their general well being & safety, would be so negligent in allowing this practice to occur. And that they would hinder their response to public outcry with a measly 4 HOUR notice to their citizens about such a "hot button" topic.

I am appalled & aghast, to say the least. I am thoroughly disgusted with the State Parole Officers & their handling of this situation. It sickens me to know that they are allowing such vile degenerates to freely hop about my city, without my knowledge...hell, without ANYONE'S knowledge.

so....my dear readers.....

WHAT WOULD YOU DO???

Thursday Thirteen.....

2006-02-15T22:11:00.000-08:00

Thursday "it's all in the numbers & sizes" Thirteen of Jen

1. is a great fan of old navy tank tops...size L &
2. their low rise, dark blue, stretch jean....size 14.
3. is currently a 40D (but is intent on having a reduction....and it couldn't be soon enough) Body by VS.
4. loves steve madden shoes....size 8 (they grew 1/2 size when i was PG with gabe)
5. lives in her Vickie's Secret cotton bikini's...size L (i'm a hippy girl)
6. once got to shop in 5-7-9....cause she was a size 7.
7. is now currently a size 14.
8. which is better, since i used to be a size 18.
9. wears her FSU hat proudly....which is a size 7.5
10. is now currently 33 years of age....and doesn't look like it on most days! :)
11. is 2547.66 miles from her ultimate destination....raleigh, nc! (but gets to drive that this summer...whee....NOT! see #12 for why)
12. the household count now stands at: 3 adults, 4 children, 3 dogs, 3 cats, 1 rabbit....and i'm not counting the fish.
13. up to this date, has currently endured 42 cumulative (non-consecutive...thank GOD) hours of labor...with more planned in the future.

Links to other Thursday Thirteens!

1. DC Roe....my babe
2. Chris.....my twin
3. Shannon
4. Suz
5. Harmonia
6. doug
7. Uisce
8. Kelly
9. Laura
10. Kate
11. Kimmy
12. Karen
13. Courtney
14. D
15. Colleen
16. Caryn
17. Lucy

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

there is a storm brewing on the horizon....

2006-02-15T22:05:00.000-08:00

standing on the shore, looking out. you can see it. the calm ocean, but the dark clouds off in the far distance. something is coming...
~~~~~
things here have been tense, to say the least. and about nothing in particular. yeah, we're still lovey dovey. but there is something there....beneath the surface.
~~~~~
the sea starts to churn some....the foam doesn't seem to dissipate now. just ever present.....telling....of the imminent storm.
~~~~~
words get exchanged. its cool in the room now. not because of the winter chill out the window. you can feel the tension. heavy, cumbersome. an uncomfortable hush, eerily quiet.....
~~~~~
the water starts its rise. the sea has traded its pale blue hue for a darker, more ominous blue/black. the wind picks up, lashes hair about your face. step back from the water's edge....look up to the heavens.....

it's here.....

70 things....

2006-02-15T14:08:00.000-08:00

....about jennifer

1. Initials: JLTG (and one day) R
2. Name someone with the same birthday as you: my niece amber & my nephew julian
3. Last thing you ate: fish, red potatoes & peas -n- carrots (for last nights dinner)
4. For or against same sex marriage: for. who am i to begrudge someone else being miserable??
5. Are you homophobic: absolutely not
6. Do you still watch cartoons on Saturday morning?: Saturday morning, sunday, monday, tuesday....you get the idea. i love SBSP! :)
7. Do you believe in God: yes
8. How many US states have you been to: 14
9. How many of the US states have you lived in: 3
10. Ever lived outside of the US: unfortunately not
11. Name something you like physically about yourself: lately my hair has been GREAT! :)
12. Something non-physical you like about yourself: my sense of humor
13. What is your dads name: Kenneth, but we all call him Ken & his brothers call him K.O.
14. What is your dream car: 67 shelby gt.
15. If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go? egypt, of course!
16. Favorite type of Food? italian
17. Favorite holiday: toss up between halloween & christmas
18. Do you download music: all the time
19. What illegal things have you done: oh god....i can't list them all here! but i did steal over 300 golf balls from the Springs CC one summer night! :)
20. Where would you want to go on a first date: the symphony
21. Would you date the person who posted this before you? lol...no! :)
22. Has anyone ever sang or played for you personally: yes...my dc! :)
23. Have you ever cried for no reason: yeah....girls have weird hormones
24. Do you like Bush: yep! i'm a die hard repub! :)
25. Have you ever bungee jumped: i would like to, but i don't think my back would allow me to.
26. Have you ever white-water rafted: no, but i'm going to one day
27. Has anyone ten years older than you ever hit on you? yeah
28. Last person you hugged: my lea bee!
29. Have you ever met a real redneck? yeah! and on occasion, i am one! lol!
30. How is the weather right now: cold & clear....weird since we've been having summer like weather out here in LA.
31. What song are you listening to right now?: bad girls by donna summer
32. What are your current favorite songs?: i usually don't listen to the radio for current songs. so i guess my favorite song lately has been "Highway to Hell" by AC/DC
33. What was the last movie you watched?: Narnia
34. Do you wear contacts: only to make my brown eyes green
35. Where was the last place you went besides your house? to fallas for some cheap jeans for liz & gabe & then to lea's school.
36. What are you afraid of? roaches, drowning & death.
37. OOOOH ____: is it time to move to NC yet??
38. How many pets do u have: 3 cats, 1 rabbit, 3 dogs & some fish
39. Have you ever loved someone: yeah. a lot of someones. lol
40. What do you like in a guy/girl: intellect, a great smile, honesty, inner strength & charisma....lucky for dale he's got it all! :)
41. What do you usually order from StarBucks? a venti caramel machiatto w/ a mocha affogato. :) i'm a starbucks junkie.
42.Have you ever fired a gun: yeah...last time was when i was in HS....with billy & some of the boys.
43. Are you missing someone: yeah, my pop. he's in iraq. :(
44. Say something totally random about yourself: i don't know why i painted my nails this ridiculous pink color.
45. Do you have an Ipod? no, but i have an MP3 player! :)
46. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity? nope.
47. What's your mom's name: Kennie after her dad. but you call her that & she WILL kill you. so she goes by her middle name, Elizabeth.
48. Who would you like to see right now: val kilmer.
49. Favorite band of all time (only ONE): led zeppelin
50. Dogs or cats: cats
51. Have you ever been caught doing something / someone you weren't supposed to be doing: yeah....but it was setup that way so someone would see it. i was trying to get rid of a boyfriend who couldn't take a hint...like, WE'RE NOT GOING OUT ANYMORE. lol!
52. Favorite flower: gerbera daisies
53. Butter, plain, or salted popcorn: KETTLE!!
54. What books are you reading: the historian by elizabeth kostova
55. Have you ever ridden in a limo: nope
56. Has anyone you were really close to passed away? yes, just last year....henry. :(
57. Do you watch MTV: not anymore. it sucks now. but my eldest makes me watch it with her. BTW...did you know they don't play music on it anymore??? weird, isn't it?
58. What's something that really bugs you: people who are rude & inconsiderate of others
59. What are some things you really like doing: reading & gaming, playing with the kids, listening to disco!
61. Can you dance: i think so!
62. Favorite basketball team: LAKERS!!
63. Favorite cereal: count chocula
64. Do you drive: yep
65. What's the latest you have ever stayed out: all night long!
66. Last time you went bowling: last summer.
67. Were you ever rushed by an ambulance into the emergency room? yep. twice.
68. Who was your last phone call?: to dc
69. Last time you were at work: real work....2001. but i'm a sahm, so i never get off work now.
70. What's your favorite state to be in: us state or state of mind? : probably hawaii! :) since my mind is terribly cluttered!

wordless wednesday

2006-02-15T13:15:00.000-08:00

a puzzler...

2006-02-14T22:00:00.000-08:00

why do i do this to an amazing man who loves me for who i am??

i'm always telling dale he'd be better off without me & the 4 heathens. he could move in a heartbeat, get a great job that he wouldn't have to schedule around 4 kids & their neurotic mother. my constant draining on his finances. my ever meddling ex. my ever growing list of medical maladies. my more than popular mood swings. my anal retentiveness. the kids ongoing attitudes. their messes. their fights. their unwillingness to eat ANY meal prepared for them by anyone other ronald mcdonald. the constant battles for the bathroom & the television.

i could go on...but i have to face it. he's in it for the long haul. nothing deters this man. and i do mean nothing.

nice to be loved that much, ain't it?

now if i could only get used to it.

happy cupid day

2006-02-13T20:56:00.000-08:00

Happy Valentines Day....Everyone!

my valentines day top "10"

1. dc's smile

2. a sly wink from my mother

3. a hug from gabe

4. a giggle from lea

5. a kiss from claudia

6. a tickle from jake

7. an "i love you" from jenette

8. a nuzzle from fred

9. a "hey, i miss you." from bubba

10. a "sis, you rock!" from kat

anger....for me....

2006-02-13T14:11:00.000-08:00

Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd,
Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd.
-- William Congreve, The Mourning Bride, III:2.

She is not old, she is not young,
The Woman with the Serpent's Tongue.
The haggard cheek, the hungering eye,
The poisoned words that wildly fly,
The famished face, the fevered hand,
Who slights the worthiest in the land,
Sneers at the just, contemns the brave,
And blackens goodness in its grave...
-- William Watson, The Woman with the Serpent's Tongue.

And she has a thousand virtues and not one acknowledged sin,
But she is the sort of person you could liken to a pin.
And she pricks you, and she sticks you, in a way that can't be said,
When you seek for what has hurt you, why, you cannot find the head.
-- Ella Wheeler Wilcox, A Pin.

If there be devils, would I were a devil,
To live and burn in everlasting fire,
So I might have your company in hell,
But to torment you with my bitter tongue!
-- William Shakespeare. Titus Andronicus, V:1.

Anyone can become angry. That is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose and in the right way... that is not easy.
-- Aristotle.

We boil at different degrees.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson.

If you prick us, do we not bleed?
if you tickle us, do we not laugh?
if you poison us, do we not die?
and if you wrong us, shall we not revenge?
-- William Shakespeare, The Merchant of Venice.

worry....for dc.....

2006-02-13T10:47:00.000-08:00

Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow; it only robs today of its strength.

-A. J. Cronin

Time and happenings and the grace of God are the best solvers of puzzles. One must leave much to these, if he is not to worry himself into premature senility.

-Alex Dow

Do not anticipate trouble, or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight.

-Benjamin Franklin

Worry is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind. If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained.

-Arthur Somers Roche

Worry is evidence of an ill-controlled brain; it is merely a stupid waste of time in unpleasantness. If men and women practiced mental calisthenics as they do physical calisthenics, they would purge their brains of this foolishness.

-Arnold Bennett

Somewhere there is a message in the protest of the man who said, "You can't tell me that worry doesn't help. The things I worry about never happen."

-Boyd K. Packer

Worry is an abuse of God's gift of imagination.

-Corrine Lajeunesse

There is nothing that wastes the body like worry, and one who has any faith in God should be ashamed to worry about anything whatsoever.

-Gandhi

During a heavy storm at sea a nervous woman passenger on a large liner went to the captain, seeking reassurance.

"Captain," she asked tremulously, "are we in great danger?"

"Don't worry, madam," he answered, "after all, we in the hands of God."

"Oh," she gasped, terror written on her face, "is it as bad as that?"

-James Keller

and last but not least, my love....

I worry that no matter how cynical you become, it's never enough to keep up.

- Jane Wagner

now....knock it off.

Thursday Thirteen.....

2006-02-09T01:00:00.000-08:00

The Thirteen's that rock my world....

1. jenny - the whole reason i became a mother. sure she's a pain in the ass. yeah, we've been through some rough spots. of course, she thinks she knows better than i do...for just about everything. she knows i'd give up my last breath, if it meant her survival. i wouldn't trade her in for a million. i don't care what the birth certificate says. she's mine....for better, for worse, forever. (stuff that in your pipe & smoke it, g.)

2. the yeti aka claudia - she's furry, she's funny & she'll swear she's my twin. she still obsesses over her "blankie", which i adore. she's a taylor.....which is both scary & a blessing.....we taylors have a very warped sense of humor. she's got the best set of eyes i've ever seen, no matter what the doctor said. and with all her imperfections ....she's still perfect to me.

3. G-sq. - if a right wind comes creeping up behind him, yeah....he just might take off like a kite. so, he's more into gamecube than some addicts are into their fix. if you give him a topic, he'll damn near chew your ear off asking questions about it. he's got a wicked genius stroke. and in a pinch, some of the best GD hugs on the planet. OH! and he can draw to boot! :)

4. the bee girl - yes, as in bumble. this kid can go from 0 to 60 in about 2.8 flat....make porche wet themselves. she's got the most infectious laugh i've ever heard. and that's not biased, kids. facts only here. and for someone so cute, young & perky....she's got the oldest sense of presence i've ever seen....in anyone. you need to laugh? check out the bee. she'll get you grinnin' like the cheshire cat.

5. boo-boo-kitty - he's so GD cute, he's got his own theme song (written by mommy, of course!) and yes, i am aware his name is derived from J&SBSB..... and yes, occasionally the f**k creeps in there .....but only when he really pisses me off (and its always said under breath). the wunderkind of them all. ok, sure...i spoil him. but have you seen that face?? WHO COULDN'T?!?!?!? he was my light, when i was in so much darkness.

6. fred - yes, my cat made it to my list of things that rock my world. he's mean. he's surly. he's the grouchiest thing i've ever seen. he'll only drink water dripping from a faucet. he's spoiled rotten. but he's mine. ALL MINE. he's been my best friend, alarm clock, rock, shoulder & pillow. my own knight in fuzzy white armour.

7. bubba - my baby brother. my 28 year old baby brother. my 6 ft. 7 in. baby brother. my beer swillin' baby brother. my world class idjit (even worse than an idiot) baby brother. my still- lives- at- home- with- mommy baby brother. my should- have- been- dead- 6- years- ago- due- to- that- retard- friend- of-his baby brother. my fellow airplane!/the princess bride line spoutin' devotee baby brother. my i'm so grateful your still here due to said retard baby brother. my, my god, i'm so proud of you servin' your country baby brother.

8. kat - i guess its true. i was at the shit end of the gene pool. she's 6'1", long legs, no fat, great hair & hell-a-gorgeous. she's uber talented....and i do mean UBER. could quite possibly play any instrument given to her...just give her about 10 minutes to figure out the logistics. she's got terrible taste in men, but i don't hold it against her. she's wild, sweet & awesomely cool. and in a sticky situation, she'd give her left arm to help you out. my baby sis....love ya sugar!

9. dad - i will forever be a "daddy's girl"...no matter what my step-mother says. i'll never be to old to call him daddy. he was my first hero, my first crush, my first love. no man can compare to daddy (but a select few come damn near close). he taught me how to be better than a girl....how to be a tomboy. (and one would say a sexy tomboy at that). i learned to love nature, woodworking, football, tranny's, rebuilding, welding & electrical work...all thanks to him. he'll never be old to me, he'll always be #1.

10. pop - what could be better than 1 dad? TWO! he's funny, weird, gross & totally off his rocker. after all, he loves my mother! but he was a great stand-in when dad wasn't there. he taught me that its ok to laugh at myself. that there are some occasions that you just have to be goofier than hell. and that no matter what everyone says about your relationship....love endures. and the fact that's he's really trying hard to be all tough over in iraq right now....makes me love him just a smidge more.

11. nana - its been 28 years now that i lost you. pain still raw, but love eternally overflowing. the memory of you is emblazoned on my mind....i don't think its diminished one iota. you were the epitome of class. you taught me what it meant to be a "lady". to love the finer things in life. that if you can't afford it now, there's no stopping you from getting it except a little time & effort. you were the kindest most gentle soul i've ever had the chance to know & was fortunate enough to be related to. i miss the flower garden, the gentle smell of your perfume as you entered the room, the soft touch of your hand on my little head. i don't know what else to say, but i miss you nana. and say hi to everyone up there for me! :)

12. mom - the person that i clash most with. the lady who made me use 4 letter words on a daily basis...under my breath (they raised me southern, so of course i'm respectful....to their face;) ). the reason i missed most after-school fun days in high school, cause she was/is/will always be a grounding freak. the only person i can't understand....can't comprehend.....can't seem to get through to.....can't seem to stop loving. even though you make me even more insane person than i already am....you made me into this great woman you see before you. i'm stronger because of you. i'm more determined because of you. and i'm a great mom....because of you. love you mom....even if i have to wear one of those funny jackets one day.

13. dc - dale - daley - sir dale - mr. roe....i haven't forgotten that first day in computer class. mainly because everyone told me that i was going to be in the class with the "weird kid". only thing i thought was weird about you? that you didn't smile NEARLY enough. i love that smile. even though you hate it. i love the fact that i have all those incriminating pictures of you in a sequined vest...and that i rub that in. i love being able to tease you about everything....and nothing at all. i am in awe of the fact that you were brave enough to take on one looney fucking chick & her 4 wild heathens. i adore the fact that above anything else, we're best friends first. i still tear, remembering when i held your hand that day in november; my heart aches for you--it'll never be right or just in my book. i'm grateful for the time that we've had together. and i'm damn near giddy with anticipation for whatever may come our way. a girl couldn't be luckier than i am. thanks for being....just you. and no matter what any one says....YOU TOTALLY FUCKING ROCK!!! (yeah...i know....i cussed. but i'm an adult now! :) )

Links to other Thursday Thirteens!
1. DC Roe....my babe
2. Chris.....my twin
3. Shannon
4. Suz
5. Harmonia
6. doug
7. Uisce
8. Kelly
9. Laura
10. Kate

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

wordless wednesday

2006-02-08T12:01:00.000-08:00

UGH....

2006-02-08T11:49:00.000-08:00

i got up to go to court, filed the proof of service & then found out that i have to do:

1) wait 30 calendar days to file a MOTION FOR DEFAULT

2) have henry go to court to file a waiver so he can file his response. or pay the 350.

since he's a lazy shit & is making me do all this, i've got to go back to court the 1st week of march to file the MFD (mother fucking documents...lol!), the FINAL DISCLOSURE WAIVER, all of the JUDGEMENT papers & the MSA (which i have to retype & get notarized)

now...what will piss me off is if i do all this & then they throw the case out for something stupid (wrong check mark in one spot) and i have to restart all this shit over. by that time i'll no longer be a california citizen. and i'm afraid to find out how long it takes to get a divorce in north carolina.

but thankfully, we don't have to attend the parenting classes. they're only for parents who can't come to an agreement on visitation/custody or have ORDERS TO SHOW CAUSE on file with the court.

by the time i'm finished with all this, i'm going to work on helping people file these things on their own....EASILY. the whole GD system is criminal! its too GD difficult to get a divorce! i think they do this to deter people from actually going through with it.

i already told dale, that if i DO decide to go forth with marrying him, there is no way that we're ever going to get divorced. if it comes to that point, we'll live in separate parts of the house & he can have a girlfriend. lol!! by that time....hell, i may get a girlfriend too!! LOL!

i'm bushed. i'm going to try to take a nap, since i didn't sleep a wink last night thanks to my lovely sinus infection.

we now return you to your regularly scheduled ranting....

it wasn't super....

2006-02-05T20:38:00.000-08:00

and it wasn't XL (extra large...).

the puppy bowl II on animal planet had more excitement. really.

i'll give a half-hearted congrats to the steelers, who by all rights & purposes, accepted the win of this superbowl....compliments of the referees.

and with that, i'm going to take my stuffy nose, sore throat & chest congestion.....and try to forget about this blah, bleak & blatantly boring un-super bowl.

night all. we'll get 'em next year peyton! :)

MY DAD!!! :)

2006-02-03T09:55:00.000-08:00

GO USA!!! GO NAVY!!!

i love my dad.....well, my step-dad. i love my dad too. he's great. but my pop, he's a card & a 1/2. and he's been in iraq since december. and i miss him TONS. i think about him every single day. i hope he's safe, i hope he's careful and i hope he comes home soon.

so, i thought i'd post the most recent pictures he sent me. :)

i'm so very proud of him!! I MISS YOU POP! :)

further proof that psycho is crazy

2006-02-02T22:27:00.000-08:00

well...since both girls sound like they've been smoking 2 packs a day since they were born....i decided to keep them both home from school.

it seems these days....i'm running my very own infirmary. lol.

anywho....lea comes bee-boppin into my bedroom this AM, complete with cd-walkman in hand. singing her little heart out. then she promptly takes a seat in the hallway and continues her singing. shoo fly don't bother me, if you're happy & you know it, clementine, etc.....kiddie songs that we all know & love. lol!!

then about 5 minutes later, this dialog takes place:

"hey mom? where is the cd?"

"its in your player."

"no, its not."

"lea, you were just listening to it. i saw you. you haven't moved!"

"but i can't find it!"

"what do you mean, you can't find it? where did it go?"

"oh well, i guess i didn't have anything in there anyway."

"well then what were you listening to?"

"ME, mommy!! i was singing!"

"yes, but who was singing with you?"

"just me. its ok mom. i'm psycho, remember?"

anyone else need further proof.....then you're as psycho as she is. and that's my lea-dote for the week! :)

Thursday Thirteen.....

2006-02-01T20:45:00.000-08:00

Thirteen Things of my favorite movie lines.

1. "Hello. My name is Iniego Montoya. You kill my father. Prepare to die." - The Princess Bride

2. "I'm a trifle deaf in this ear. Speak a little louder next time." - Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory

3. "Surely you can be serious?" "I am serious. And don't call me 'Shirley' " - Airplane!

4. "You want the moon? Just say the word, and I'll throw a lasso around it and pull it down. Hey, that's a pretty good idea. I'll give you the moon." - Its A Wonderful Life

5. "I LOVE BEING PURPLE!" - The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie

6. "Dogs & cats, living together. MASS HYSTERIA!" - Ghostbusters

7. "Can I borrow your underpants for ten minutes?" - Sixteen Candles

8. "As God is my witness, as God is my witness, they're not going to lick me! I'm going to live through this, and when it's all over, I'll never be hungry again - no, nor any of my folks! If I have to lie, steal, cheat, or kill! As God is my witness, I'll never be hungry again." - Gone With the Wind

9. "Use the Force, Luke." - Star Wars; A New Hope

10. "Brain cloud. Brain Cloud. You would have thought they'd come up with something better than a 'Brain cloud'." - Joe Versus The Volcano

11. "Then close your eyes and tap your heels together three times. And think to yourself, 'There's no place like home'." - The Wizard of Oz

12. "I gave her my heart, and she gave me a pen." - Say Anything

13. "Snakes. Why'd it hafta be snakes?" - Raiders of the Lost Ark

Links to other Thursday Thirteens!
1. DC Roe....my babe
2. Chris.....my twin
3. Shannon
4. Suz
5. Harmonia
6. doug
7. Uisce
8. Kelly
9. Laura
10. Kate

wordless wednesday

2006-02-01T08:12:00.000-08:00

well.....

2006-01-31T13:44:00.000-08:00

i'm almost divorced. lol!!

i put it off forever. i knew it was going to be a PITA to do. and let me tell you.....IT IS!!

$45.00 & 1 paper to get married v. $350.00 & 80 papers to get divorced.

i've managed to complete step one - initiating the proceedings (total paperwork @ 22) and file for a fee waiver (since i don't work). the judge was nice. he didn't even make me talk in front of him. he was in the middle of hearing a prelim on a, what i could tell, personal injury disclosure proceedings. he nodded to the bailiff who took my paperwork & the judge then scribbled something to his clerk who then stamped my stuff & handed it to said bailiff who in turn, made a lovely hand off to me.

(WHEW!! football plays are easier to remember than all this. lol!!)

went downstairs to the filing clerks window. hand off all of my pristine paperwork, she separates everything & then stamps the ever loving shit out of it. nice. all that hard work to keep it clean. UGH!

then i ask her ever so politely, "so....this is it. right? i mean 6 months from now i can go back to being ms. jennifer taylor?"

a broad smile creeps across her hardened face & she says, "oh no. you're just at the beginning! there's PLENTY more to be done."

i swear, i saw the lights flicker & heard evil pipe organ music playing.

the evil filing mistress, now looking even more sinister & foreboding tells me, "you need to head up to the 2nd floor. visit the family law room. they'll tell you what to do from there." and points out the door to the elevators....where i quite possibly saw the top licks of fire.

by this time i am panicking. why does it have to be this hard?? off i trudge to the 2nd floor....and just as luck would have it, we entered the elevator that they're preparing to work on. its all padded inside. and i wonder? what in bloody hell do they think i'm going to do in there? MOSH??

anywho....i digress.

get to the 2nd floor....family law room. (sounds like something you'd find in a really nice expensive house, KWIM?? "....and this is our newly remodeled Family Law Room...") this man & his bimbette FLY past me from another elevator, just so they could get in the line in front of me. nice, huh?? i can't wait to get back somewhere that people actually have MANNERS.

so there i am. standing in the line from hell. or to hell. or on a side trip to hell. who knows. i know that eventually i'm going to hell. that's for sure. and then i realize that its almost 10:30. i have to leave. time for lea to go to school.

i grab my girls & practically sprint from the building. you know, once outside, i didn't feel so bad. that building has bad karma. r e a l l y bad karma.

and now i get to do this all over again.....tomorrow. only now i have a case number.....and the clock has officially begun to tick! :)

btw.....and on a really strange twist of fate? my case number is DC's birthday. lol!!

psycho's update....lol!!

2006-01-29T02:25:00.000-08:00

so....we had a party to attend in the quad of our complex today (HAPPY 13th BIRTHDAY ADAM!!) when the mom from the socially deviant, morally corrupt household approaches me....

"I've heard that they call your curly headed one PSYCHO ?", she inquisitively asks.

with stern indignation i reply, "yep."

"And that's alright with you?", puzzled.

"oh yeah. we understand that psycho means crazy.", i retort back.

"And you're ok with that?", asked with a deer in the head lights curiosity look.

"why not? she's comfortable enough to know that she's a little eccentric....if you will.", i proudly state.

"psycho. well, i guess to each his own", she plainly states.

i, now with the confused deer in the headlights look about me, am wondering, "this from the woman who allows her children to play outside at 12PM at night, disciplines her child (when she has spilt her beer on the carpet) with a 3 hour outside punishment & who feeds her children powdered doughnuts & dry ramen noodles from the packet for meals. do my spidey senses betray me? or has this woman just called me on the carpet for allowing other kids to call her 'Psycho;?"

with this, she turns & promptly tells her kids to make sure that they eat enough hot dogs from the party....as she won't be cooking tonight.

no dry ramen? like tonight any more special than the others? wow! and i thought i was the bad parent? psycho my ass.

anyone got the local number for CPS?

what a way to spend...

2006-01-28T23:15:00.000-08:00

your Saturday night.

i'm filling out my divorce paperwork. i want this shit over with already. we've been "technically" separated now since June 20, 2004. (to be more accurate....its been since like....oh....1999, when we really ceased to be lovers, partners & more......shall we say, roommates.....co-habitants, if you will....) its high time.

i've put it off....not because i didn't want the damn thing. but because its so god damned depressing. and its fucking outrageous of a fee. $350.00. it's funny....it was only $45.00 to get hitched in the first place. and only 1 piece of paperwork. now i'm up to my earlobes in FL-110's & 982's.

it just really drains you. looking at your whole life you amassed with this person....being brought down to just a few scraps of paper........just a blowin' in the wind.....

and you really have to admit failure. not 100%....but enough to make you feel like complete & total shit. that you couldn't make something work. that you couldn't either make that person see what needed to be done or that you couldn't ultimately change who you were.

maybe we were never meant to be together. maybe we weren't the perfect match. i know i got something wonderful out of the whole experience. 4 amazingly talented, adorable, funny, quirky kids.

jake, claudie, lea & jake
halloween '05

it saddens me to see them trivialized on a piece of paper. but its ok. i'll make it through. they'll make it through. we'll all come out better in the end.

i breathe a sigh of relief and know tomorrow is going to be a better day.....

what do you do?

2006-01-27T20:27:00.000-08:00

when your 5 year old tells you....

"call me psycho. everyone does! psycho means crazy mom!"

who can argue with that logic?!?!?!?

as lea says, "finally!!" (complete with dramatic hand gestures...)

yesterday's mack truck day...

2006-01-27T11:21:00.000-08:00

*****WARNING*****

raving lunatic rant about to commence. leave now if you suffer from weak constitutions or generally hate reading other people's rants. you have been warned.

*****************

yesterday. where do i begin? i think that everyone here knows that i share custody with the kids dad. right now, since we all live in the same city, its on an every other week basis. kids come to me on friday afterschool & return to their dad's house the following friday. and so on & so forth.

yesterday was thursday. for all who don't know. thursday thirteen to be exact. so, most of us in the blogosphere can keep our days straight. those posts are quite helpful!

anywho....digressing again. sorry. my mind has a tendency to do that....must be all the kids

so all he had was one more day. uno. un. ein. ένας. одно. one.

and he couldn't even do that.

once all the kids had managed to get themselves off to school (aided by his mother, of course) he began to drink. and drink. and drink. and drink. and who knows what else. i do know that his buddies were there. so i'm pretty confident that there was other....shall we say....non-legal substances.....making the rounds there. they were smoking, so that's my dead give away.

you know....he's almost 40. when will some people grow up? i get tired of having to make excuses for him all the time. i get tired of having to explain his actions to his 18 year old. i get tired of having to cover his ass all the time. i'm tired of having to pick him up, clean him off, motivate his ass & get him to realize that he's got a pretty great life....even if it is devoid of spousal support & relief (you know what i mean....he bugs me about this all the time...). i get tired of making him feel better about himself.

i know. i know. you're saying.....WTF is the matter with you woman? why do you do it?

simple. i was raised that way. i take care of everyone & everything. it was my job as the eldest. i held both my parents hands through their divorce. took care of my bubba & kat when they were little, while my mother was going to school & working. any fighting that came along....jen took care of. bubba won't listen....jen will get him to. kat's been misbehaving.....jen will fix that. your father is being an asshole.....jen will talk to him.

its always been that way. and here i am. while still fixing their messes back there, having to figure out how to manage my own here.

but really....back to mack truck man. i don't know what to do. i am at my wits end.

this is one of the main reasons for our relocation back to north carolina. to be near more stable family. to get the kids out of this element. to protect them from a world of hurt that their father can impose upon them.

yeah, sure. kids are resilient. kids can bounce back.

but i'm tired of my kids having to deflect the harm from their male parental unit. its not fair. its not right.

and the man who should have been their father, just has to sit back, watch this all happen & keep his mouth closed.

i'm just so tired folks. he's been at this stupid game since about the 4th year of our marriage. i should have left him then. but being the pollyanna that i am.....i kept looking for the good in him.

i now know that it must not exist.

::very frustrated sigh::

2006-01-26T16:13:00.000-08:00

....its a mack truck day.

will try to post more about it later on, but could use some hugs right about now.

Thursday Thirteen.....

2006-01-26T09:41:00.000-08:00

Thirteen Things I could do without.

1. smelly undies from my kids. good lord children....use the potty now & then! the stench is going to knock out your mom one of these days! and i don't need another concussion.
2. drive-thru attendants who could care less about the fact my son needs, nay REQUIRES ketchup.
3. people who don't know how to drive in the rain. i'm from miami....so i know how to drive through a hurricane if the need arose. i can't understand....its 4 drops of water! DRIVE ALREADY!
4. this constant, nagging pain in my back that makes me feel like a cripple most days. i swear, i'm not 33....i'm 83.
5. my horriffic gag reflex. and i'm sure my boyfriend would too.....
6. having to do at least a load of laundry a day. i, alone, keep the maytag company rolling....
7. my own personal mount vesuvius. guys may like them, but i have yet to find a woman who thinks "DD" is fun to tote about all day long. its like a toddler that never gets off....
8. the last remnants of the concussion i suffered at my own hand, in '04. i get a daily headache in that spot.
9. my step-daughters fucktard of a family from her mother's side. those people really need to be pitched into the volcano. not only for their inept welfare of my kid, but just because they all suck. A LOT. and no, it has nothing to do with the ex & their life together. want to know more....ask me.
10. speaking of volcanic sacrifices....i need to also drop my morally corrupt & socially deviant neighbors into it as well. want to know more.....ask me.
11. more times that not, my ex-husband. yes, he's a nice guy. and yeah, we get along pretty well. but somedays, i just wish he'd get run over by a mack truck.
12. most days, my mother. while i love her to death, she's a bitter pill that is very difficult to swallow.
13. my ever shrinking bank account. yeah, i know this is one for most people. but when you're trying to save money for a move that you have to make for the welfare of your children....and you absolutely love to shop....its kinda difficult. anyone wanna pitch in to the moving fund?!?!?!?

Links to other Thursday Thirteens!
1. DC Roe....my babe
2. Chris.....my twin
3. Shannon
4. Suz
5. Harmonia
6. doug
7. Uisce
8. Kelly
9. Laura
10. Kate

who said a sequel is a good thing?!?!?!?!?

2006-01-25T21:37:00.000-08:00

WTF is up with this??? who is asleep at the controls in DLand?? correct me if i'm wrong....but bambi is an ADULT in the end of the original, right??

you can't just go off on a "side"-quel like this!!

i'll admit, it was funny in lion king 1.5....that was cute! seeing how timon & pumba came about & such.

but this shit has had me in a tizzy all day long!! so much that i played hooky & went to DLand to find out WHY.

we all know what happens at the end of cinderella, snow white & sleeping beauty. well.....we don't actually know, but its kinda implied by the:

.....And They Lived Happily Ever After...

do i really want to see cindy doing the dishes some more?? or snow having the dwarves over for tea one afternoon?? or how about aurora taking one last stab at that darn spinning wheel? NOPE. i want to imagine that they truly did live happily ever after.

but for real! what's this whole bambi 2 thing about, huh?? i mean, bambi's mom gets killed early on & then he's raised by his dad until he's a teen, gets all twitterpated & the forest is set ablaze!! bambi goes off with his little hottie (faline....i think....i'll have to watch the DVD later on...) and makes more little bambi's!

like there is something else i need to know?!?!?

i'm miffed. to say the least (really....you should of seen the scene i made at mimi's this afternoon at lunch....). it goes against everything good that i know about disney. i mean, hell, you've got pixar now.....COME UP WITH SOME NEW MATERIAL!!

and let us believe that "....happily ever after...." really does exist....and the story can end.....

i thought i could last....

2006-01-24T11:40:00.000-08:00

without getting sick from one of the inmates.

how wrong i was.....UGH!

its been almost a week & a half since anyone came down with anything remotely close to that of the dreaded stomach flu. and for the powers unbeknownst to me, last night i had that flu. and on a night when i actually decided to eat a real meal. oh the horror of it all.

have i mentioned how much i hate to throw up?

i know that pretty much everyone hates to yak. and if you like it, you're a sick bastard. but i absolutely loathe it. you see, when i was an infant & as a toddler, i had a weird stomach thing. i was a projectile vomiter. i had & still have a rather strong gag reflex. any small thing would set jennifer off. and then......WATCH OUT!! my parents tell the story of having my grandparents (nana, pop-pop, memaw, grandma & grandpa taylor) over for dinner all the time. and a lovely time by all would be had.

until......

cute little jennifer, sitting high atop her princess highchair throne, would purse her adorable, pink lips together to form the most perfect little "O", and emit the tiniest of tiny burps. it was then that everyone would SHOVE back from the table & duck for cover like someone attending a Gallagher concert. it was bad.

i can remember as a child, dreading having to yak. i would prolong the enevitable for hours. my mother would beg me, "just let it out & get it over with already!". but i would hold on, holding it down, until i couldn't any longer. and then it was all over. and by that time, my mother had gotten sick & tired of sitting there, holding my hair. so, i learned how to do it pretty much on my own. (to this day, i never let anyone in my house, child or adult, go through that alone.)

then in junior high. i was a pudgy little thing. still cute as a button, but an oversized clown button. i was immense. or so i thought i was. and so.....a thought dawned on me. if i don't keep the food in me.....i can't get fat! that started me down an 8 month bulimia road. i lost a ton of weight. looked fabu. but man, was i miserable cause i had to yak all the time. so, with my disgust of having to yak & the fact that i kinda looked decent again....i stopped that.

fast forward about 10 years to 22. the very first time i got pregnant. it was horrible. i had morning sickness 24 hours a day. and although i eventually lost that baby, the doctors assured me that THAT was probably not going to happen again. something wrong in that pregnancy to make me more violently ill than anything i had ever seen. if i chose to get pregnant again, it would be a nice, calm one. maybe with a few days worth of MS and nothing more.

man were they wrong.

with each child (that's 4 more after my 1st) i was sick from day 1 to day 300. and not that "i feel a little queasy" MS either. full blown, yakking in the sick, carrying a bucket with you everywhere MS. yeah.....it was a riot!

so...you're saying to yourself.....you should be a pro at this whole yakking thing!

WRONG-O!!!

i hate it. nothing prepares me for it. and i still (as i did last night) try in vain to hold everything back as long as i can. i only prolong my agony....yes, i know. but what's a girl to do?

so.....that's what i did last night. what about you?

what do you write about....

2006-01-23T22:19:00.000-08:00

when you've got writer's block?

i got smacked earlier cause i said i've never experienced this before. apparently, if you're a "writer" you go through bouts of it. as the smack let me know, my DC has had his share of this turmoil.

so back to what i was saying.....what do you do?

i've never been a "writer". i just wrote. whatever, wherever. i never really thought about it. and now that i'm doing it much more (at the gentle noodge of my sweetie, who swears up & down that i am a better writer than he...) i am at a stand still.

first off, the kids aren't here this week, so there are no cute little lea-dotes to write about.
secondly, i've reached a plateau on my weightloss. and what's a girl to write about if not her shrinking thighs?
thirdly, its down right chilly here in so cal. what that has to do with writing, i have no clue.
and lastly, i could write about how a thread on my email loop with some of my dearest friends is a RE: baptism gifts....what to give? yet is now delving into the sordid life of SAHM's & the sexual favors they bestow upon their male companions.

yes, i knew that would get you attention. and i know i said i was southern. but i also grew up in miami. hence, sometimes the little slut in me comes out. and apparently in that of my SS girls! lol!!

and you thought boys were the grossest sex on the planet. HA! at my age i've come to the summation that:

any boy who brags about his sex life......has none.
the number of girls he's slept with........divide by 3.
he is not as endowed as he says he is.
his ex girlfriends will attest to this fact.
girls are more descriptive & nasty when discussing the opposite sex.
we never brag about our sex life.....and its way better than anything you could imagine.
the number of guys we've slept with.......multiply by 3.
i am that good....i choose to act demure.
all my ex's will attest to that fact.

hm.....well, i guess i did have something to write about after all!

i wonder what i'll write about when writer's block strikes me next?

thursday thirteen! :)

2006-01-19T10:03:00.000-08:00

Thirteen Things about me.....again!

1. i have been going back to the gym so far all this week.
2. because of this, my legs feel like jello.
3. i used to go to the gym 5 days a week for 3 hours a day. this was before i had children.
4. i have 5 kids. 4 are my own, 1 is my step, but i've had her since she was 5.
5. she is now 18 & has decided to move with me to NC this summer.
6. we're moving on july 17. i will miss my twin's birthday. :(
7. my twin is my twin in spirit. we're like 2 peas in a pod, me & chris.
8. i have a friend, beth, who detests peas. POP-SQUISH!
9. i've known her for 4 years now, we met on an AOL august moms 2 be board. there is a group of us who still talk on a daily basis. we are the SSG!
10. i was pregnant with jake the snake back then.....
11. jake's name came about because my mother detests is so.
12. i have said before, my mother is a freak of nature.
13. unfortunately, i have fallen into my mother's footsteps & am very much like her.

Links to other Thursday Thirteens!
1. (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!)

so we got this idea...

2006-01-18T19:57:00.000-08:00

now most of you know....that we're moving this summer (july 17th to be exact) from los angeles (which really ain't no city of angels....lol!) to knightdale, nc (small town right outside raleigh). its going to be somewhat of a culture shock going from a population of over 100,000 (here in norwalk....an LA suburb) to just shy of 8,000.

HOLY RUSTED METAL BATMAN!!

i can't believe that. lol!! i've been reading all the info on this small town & realized (much to my chagrin & horror....) I AM NOT A REAL CITY GIRL!! I YEARN FOR THE SMALL TOWN LIFE!!!

WTF?!?!?!??

anywho....i digress.

this is what we're planning. a road trip. a massive one. 2,557.94 miles of one. and we're going to hit it straight through the heart. california, arizona, new mexico, texas, oklahoma, arkansas, tennessee, north carolina. and we've decided to do it national lampoon style. that's our route....the purple line.......I LOVE BEING PURPLE!! (my small ode to patrick...)

there is this site: roadside america that spotlights obscure, weird, strange & truly american tourist traps.

so here is what i need from everyone.

what wacky places (like the house of mud that clark w. griswold wanted to visit) would you like to see a photo journal of???

and no....i will not visit the double decker outhouse in arkansas. gross.

well...

2006-01-17T22:36:00.000-08:00

it was a good workout. and i was looking forward to going tomorrow. but i think jake may have a touch of pneumonia.

but on the great side….i’ve been watching those calories & haven’t had a day over 1500. which i am just in awe over since there is really so much you can eat without hitting the magic number.

so i stopped in to see just how everyone is doing! how are you all? how are you all feeling? and what’s your weather like? lol!! its cold here finally. which will change, no doubt, by tomorrow.

oh….and i vow not to cook a cassarole or turkey anytime soon. after spending approximately 6.5 minutes in the sauna….i feel bad for cooking anything in the oven. i swear, all i needed was some sage stuffing & you all could have come over for dinner. i forgot how miserably hot those GD things can get. i will never live in a desert.

gym time today: 2 hours.
miles done: 2.5
laps in pool: 2 (i SO need to get in shape.....good lord.)
weight now: 179
still to go: 49

i am so...

2006-01-16T11:07:00.000-08:00

pissed!!

if you know me....then you know that i am a gridiron girl. i love me some football. and i am always saddened at the end of the season, cause it will be a good 7 months before i see any.

i love the end of the season as well. i love the final mad dash to the finish line. the wild card playoffs. the NFC championships. the AFC championships. and of course, the mother of all games....the superbowl.

things that really cheese me......showboat players. TO. need i say more?? he needs to be sent back to kindergatrten to learn the meaning of sharing & fair play.

what really frosts my cookies? the shit that people talk after a game. people, not players.

i'm talking peyton manning here folks.

he played his ASS OFF. and still he gets no credit. hell, even if he won the whole GD thing they'd all say that it wasn't his performance that got them there, it was the defensive line, the offense, his runningback...whatever. a team needs a leader & he never gets his due.

NEVER.

and poor guy was getting the shit beat out of him with NO coverage for most of the game. and when he DOES get fired up, because he's sick of the way his "team" is handling things, what do they do? NOTHING. and then when its all said & done....who do they all blame? peyton manning. that's who. i don't blame him in the LEAST for putting his line up like he did. they SUCKED. plain & simple. they let him down. he tried but they failed. bravo peyton, for calling them to the carpet. they deserve it!

for one of the first times i can really remember.......i'm really not looking forward to the next 3 games. i really don't care. (even though i should, because my carolina panthers are in it...) there isn't any fire in me to watch. no one that i really want to root for. i could care less.

i'm beginning to feel like a player.

i swear...

2006-01-15T12:00:00.000-08:00

ever get the feeling that you're supposed to be someone else?? some days i feel like lady liberty.

"...give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses. yearning to be free"

well, i don't know all about the poor thing....but it should say the sick & infirmed.

i honestly don't know what goes on over at my ex-husbands house. i really don't. but every single time i get the kids back from there, someone is sick. and they flee to mom for comfort, solace, gatorade & tylenol.

this weekend alone, i've had: stomach flu (2 bouts), asthma attacks (2 bouts), fevers (2 bouts) and a migraine.

and a creepy sidenote about my eldest, claudia. who in the world can yak while they sleep & not wake up? i swear, she's from an alien planet. that child could sleep through a nuclear holocaust. you could have the NY philharmonic playing "Stars & Stripes Forever" next to her head & she wouldn't stir.

i need to take a tylenol.

Friday Four..but delayed to Saturday

2006-01-13T08:41:00.000-08:00

the friday four meme (but posted on saturday due to a rather intense & nasty migraine yesterday...) with pertinent information all about moi! :)

FOUR JOBS YOU HAVE HAD IN YOUR LIFE:
1. teacher's assistant
2. jr. dispatcher for the vg police department
3. administrative assistant for a ceo
4. jr. salesman for a metals firm

FOUR MOVIES YOU WOULD WATCH OVER AND OVER:
1. young frankenstein. - i love this movie. mel brooks was a directorial genius! :) and i love the pairing of teri garr & gene wilder.
2. the bishop's wife - with david niven, cary grant & loretta young. classic B&W holiday flick that i watch religiously (albeit secretly) year round. its my all time favorite movie. about an angel who comes to help a bishop but falls in love with his wife. its great. and besides....cary grant is like (well was...) the hottest man on the planet. (aside from dc)
3. airplane! - yes, i know its a stupid movie. but its hilarious. and i love puns (you should see me on the jungle cruise at d-land). and besides that, my brother & i know pretty much the whole movie by heart. we will call the other if its on (or we've got the DVD in...) and run lines with the other. yes, i am serious. and don't call me shirley.
4. indiana jones - any one of the installations. being an avid amateur archeologist (well....wanna be at least) i love watching these over & over. and again, hot leading man.

FOUR PLACES YOU HAVE LIVED:
1. hickory, north carolina
2. virginia gardens, florida
3. miami beach, florida
4. los angeles, california

FOUR TV SHOWS YOU LOVE TO WATCH:
1. mythbusters. - these guys are GREAT!! i swear, they've got the best job on the planet. breaking shit & blowing shit up. what's better than that?!?!?!?
2. house - i'm not one for medical shows (i was never an ER devotee) but i love hugh laurie & he's a riot
3. american chopper - mikey has my vote for president. and i just love senior & how he's always pissed off at everyone....especially paulie. and although i'm not a chopper fanatic, i appreciate the art that they are.
4. the news - anywhere. lol! i am an information junkie. i gotta know whats going on & where. i'm obsessed with it.

FOUR PLACES YOU HAVE BEEN ON VACATION:
1. sanibel island, florida
2. washington dc
3. san fransisco, california
4. key west, florida

FOUR WEBSITES YOU VISIT DAILY:
1. DC Roe
2. eBay - i am a bargain shopaholic
3. Second Starr to the Right
4. Hallmark - i love to send ecards & shop here! :)

FOUR OF YOUR FAVORITE FOODS:
1. italian - i LOVE me some pasta!! good lord, no wonder i'm the weight i am.
2. mexican - i can make killer fish tacos. and man am i going to miss casa gamino.
3. french - give me gooey, cheesy, oozing with creme sauce. i love it. how i miss Ste. Michele's in Coral Gables.
4. american - deep down in this cultured girl is one who loves a plain old, greasy, cheesy burger. and chili dogs!!

FOUR PLACES YOU WOULD RATHER BE RIGHT NOW:
1. my mom's house - no matter how much we argue or how much i say i can't stand her....her house is a comfort zone for me. and i miss it so much. nothing was ever all that bad once i was at home at mommy's house.
2. moon stone beach, california - its in cambria. and its TO DIE FOR. absolutely breathtaking. DC & i spent a weekend there last year. it was heavenly. great wine, great food, nicer than hell people, fantastic art. i loved it!
3. valley of the kings - being a avid egypt fanatic (and hopefully one day an egyptologist), this is my shangri-la.
4. the bahamas - man i miss those beaches! :)

FOUR BLOGGERS YOU ARE TAGGING:
i'm not going to do that, since no one ever tags me. lol!!

but i'd like to see some more 4's done!! :)

Thursday Thirteen.....

2006-01-12T07:15:00.000-08:00

Thirteen Things all about moi....today!

1. my youngest, jake the snake, is laying next to me.
2. he is as sick as a dog, burning with fever. vacations on the sun aren't this hot.
3. he has yakked up twice since his father brought him to my house.
4. he is still the most handsome kid on the planet. really, he is.
5. drives most people crazy, but i tend to let a fever run for a little bit. kills the germ better! :)
6. lea is pissed off that she's not sick more often. she wants my complete, undivided attention. she's weird.
7. i would like to give said attention to everyone, but with 5 kids, i cannot. they're lucky they get baths most days.
8. i hate most toddler programs. since steve left, there is no will to watch. none. don't argue with me.
9. i am addicted to spongebob, fairly odd parents & jimmy neutron. moreso than that of the children. if i had TIVO.....they'd be on it.
10. spongebob will be on soon. that's the only reason i am stomaching blue's clues with joe. and now the backyardigans. UGH!
11. jake is still the most considerate kid, even when on death's door. he's offering mommy his juice.
12. i wish it was time to start packing. i want to move already.
13. my back is hurting like mad this morning. i wonder what i did to piss it off.....again?

Links to other Thursday Thirteens!
1. Leanne Wildermuth
2. DC Roe
3. Second Starr to the Right
4. The Fountain Pen
5. Goin Ons

just

2006-01-11T09:26:00.000-08:00

a little blatant, self-promotion....on how blessed i am with the awesome family i've got.

i miss my baby brother (who ain't so baby anymore & who stands a good 1'+ over my head...being the "official" shortest person in the taylor family has both its good & bad...) & i don't get to see him enough living out west. but that's going to change this summer as i trek east with my brood.
what a dashing, handsome, debonair & mindful of his elders, young man. :)

then again.......maybe not?

moving news....

2006-01-10T15:00:00.000-08:00

would it be more than egotistical of me to live on a street called "Jennifer Lane"? its a great house...the name is a bonus for me. lol!

opinions, please!

WTG MOMMA!!

2006-01-10T11:22:00.000-08:00

goes out to my bestest best friend in all the world!

Ms. Kristin Lee Catherine Roberts

for becoming one of the youngest HRD's known to man!

(i made that last part up...)

CONGRATS SWEETIE!

now....time for some nepotism. :)

diet dilemma

2006-01-09T13:26:00.000-08:00

ok...so, i've been on this diet since the 1st of the year. and i was at 190. no snickering in the peanut gallery....) and now i'm down to 180.

and i don't see a lick of difference. at all. nada, zip, zilch. all i know is that i am starving. well, not technically....but i'm flippin out.

i'm on one of those 1500 calorie diet thingy's. i'm only eating special k cereal in the morning & afternoon & then a sensible meal (no......mcd's chicken doesn't exactly constitute sensible....well.....). and i've bought those special k snack bars to go along with it all. and yes, i even stomached it & bought BOTH skim milk (BARF-O-RAMA) and coca cola zero (which ain't half bad! :grin: )

it wasn't doctor imposed, it was jennifer is sick & tired of being a beached whale imposed. i am tired of looking like my dead grandmother (no offense memaw....i love ya, but your ass was huge!) and pretty much tired of feeling like her too (the dead part...).

the back is just about on its last leg (well.....disk, so to speak) and it needs the excess weight to be gone & i would LOVE to be able to fit into a slinky black cocktail dress like i used to wear.

sorry for the rambling rant.....its been one of those days.

Grandma's Cures

2006-01-07T10:08:00.000-08:00

~*GRANDMA'S CURES*~
Keep this on the Fridge

Did You Know That? Drinking two glasses of Gatorade
can relieve headache pain almost immediately -- without the unpleasant side
effects caused by traditional "pain relievers."

Did you know that Colgate toothpaste makes an excellent salve for burns.

Before you head to the drugstore for a high-priced inhaler filled with
mysterious chemicals, try chewing on a couple of curiously strong Altoids
peppermints. They'll clear up your stuffed nose.

Achy muscles from a bout of the flu?
Mix 1 Tablespoon of horseradish in 1 cup of olive oil. Let the mixture sit for
30 minutes, then apply it as a massage oil, for instant relief for aching muscles.

Sore throat?
Just mix 1/4 cup of vinegar with 1/4 cup of honey and take 1 tablespoon six times a
day. The vinegar kills the bacteria.

Cure urinary tract infections with Alka-Seltzer.
Just dissolve two tablets in a glass of water and drink it at the onset of the symptoms.
Alka-Seltzer begins eliminating urinary tract infections almost instantly -- even though the
product was never been advertised for this use.

Honey remedy for skin blemishes...
Cover the blemish with a dab of honey and place a Band-Aid
over it. Honey kills the bacteria, keeps the skin sterile, and speeds healing.
Works overnight.

Listerine therapy for toenail fungus...
Get rid of unsightly toenail fungus by soaking your toes in Listerine
mouthwash. The powerful antiseptic leaves your toenails looking healthy again.
It is also good for dandruff!!!

Easy eyeglass protection...
To prevent the screws in eyeglasses from loosening, apply a small drop of Maybelline
Crystal Clear nail polish to the threads of the screws before tightening them.

Coca-Cola cure for rust...
Forget those expensive rust removers. Just saturate an abrasive sponge with
Coca Cola and scrub the rust stain. The phosphoric acid in the coke is what gets the job done.

Cleaning liquid that doubles as bug killer...
If menacing bees, wasps, hornets, or yellow jackets get in your home and you
can't find the insecticide, try a spray of Formula 409.
Insects drop to the ground instantly.

Smart splinter remover...just pour a drop of Elmer's Glue-All over the splinter,
let dry, and peel the dried glue off the skin. The splinter sticks to the dried glue.

Hunt's tomato paste boil cure...cover the boil with Hunt's tomato paste as a compress.
The acids from the tomatoes soothe the pain and bring the boil to a head.

Balm for broken blisters...To disinfect a broken blister, dab on a few drops of
Listerine... a powerful antiseptic.

Heinz vinegar to heal bruises .. Soak a cotton ball in white vinegar and apply it to the bruise for 1 hour.
The vinegar reduces the blueness and speeds up the healing process.

Kills fleas instantly.
Dawn dish washing liquid does the trick. Add a few drops to your dog's bath and
shampoo the animal thoroughly. Rinse well to avoid skin irritations.
Goodbye fleas.

Rainy day cure for dog odor...
Next time your dog comes in from the rain, simply wipe down the animal with
Bounce or any dryer sheet, instantly making your dog smell springtime fresh.

Eliminate ear mites...
All it takes is a few drops of Wesson corn oil in your cat's ear.
Massage it in, then clean with a cotton ball. Repeat daily for 3 days.
The oil soothes the cat's skin, smothers the mites, and accelerates healing.

Quaker Oats for fast pain relief....
It's not for breakfast anymore! Mix 2 cups of Quaker Oats
and 1 cup of water in a bowl and warm in the microwave for 1 minute, cool
slightly, and apply the mixture to your hands for soothing relief from arthritis pain.

alright....

2006-01-06T09:42:00.000-08:00

so, you read that yesterday i did nothing, nada, zip, zilch....for the heathens that be......my children. ::SIGH::

and what happened as a direct result of this??

nothing, nada, zip, zilch.

gabe gets up this morning & heads directly for the GC (one day he's going to have to mainline that junk).
jake has monopolized their TV with the vsmile (he's becoming his brother faster & faster each minute).
psycho (lea) is wandering the house aimlessly, dramatically complaining about some phantom ailment & panting(?) ....(i know that there is an academy award waiting somewhere in the future for this gem).
liz is still sleeping....i am so NOT ready for her teen years.

i swear. i love them all. alot. too much, i think at times. but they're going to be the death of me.

yesterday, they had complete & free reign of the whole house. i didn't lift a finger to assist, help, clean, nuture, mommy or triage. and at 11PM they were all still awake, running through the whole house like a bunch of savages (did you all know that if a domesticated pig gets into the wild, it will revert back to being feral in something like 6 weeks?!?!?!? use this new information i have given you to imagine these children...) and creating havoc in their wake.

the house was a disaster area. and it didn't help that while they were running like mad, they got lula all excited. (lula is a basset.....with bad arthritis.....who thinks she is a greyhound.....need i say more?) and there goes my fat, dense (as in mass not intellegence) & now very hyper basset......running the basset 500 right alongside the monsters.

there was ground up lay's chips in the carpet, pizza crusts all over the house, literally a hundred cups strewn at least 1/2 empty throughout the whole house (about 45 in their room.....how many kids do i have?!?!?!?)

finally i had ENOUGH! and they were SHOCKED that mom was mad?!?!?!? wow.....they are dense (as in intellegence this time....) i swear, if i wasn't so tired by then....i would have killed them all. even the cute 3 year old....who by this time has gone coma. smart kid....knows when to lay low.

and yet, after another of my daily rants to my angelic children (NOT!)......they swore, this time i think there was mention of slavery or game system sacrifice if they reneged, that they were going to behave, follow directions & generally act normal.....i know, its a stretch.

oh joy......i hear a fight in the livingroom....and the wails of wanton toddler.

i wonder how much i can get for jake on the black market?

Thursday Thirteen.....

2006-01-05T17:09:00.000-08:00

Thirteen Things about JENNIFER!

1. my kids really suck. no one is listening. i wish i had taken birth control. :P
2. all of dc's shirts are still out on the bed. i was gonna hang them this morning.
3. reason i haven't hung #2 is that i've been SIM-ing all day long.
4. i am a SIMS2 addict. i need help.
5. i have terrible heartburn. from drinking iced tea? who else thinks i'm weird?
6. because they are monsters, i am on strike. (this is why i've been doing #3)
7. refusing to cook dinner this evening is part of my strike.
8. i really need to re-dye my hair.
9. i am in bad need of a pedicure & manicure
10. i need to take lula to the groomers...her nails are too long.
11. i have an AKC basset...her name is lula-belle daisy-mae. she is my babe.
12. fred hates lula. then again, fred hates everyone...but me! :)
13. i need to feed my animals. they have been good.

Links to other Thursday Thirteens!
1. Cat with a Pen
2. Second Starr to the Right

its time....

2006-01-05T09:21:00.000-08:00

::SIGH::

to return my house to the post-holiday blah. and i'm not happy in the least. i'm going to let you in on my newest mantra:

I NEED A HOUSE

i tell this to dc about.....oh....say.....5 times a day. right, sweetie??

i need one. i need to be able to creatively express myself through my interior decorating. at my old house (i am still so bitchin pissed i let him keep....grrrrrrrrr...but in order to preserve ones sanity....) i had complete free reign.

every color that is on the wall is there by my choosing. every curtain, all the wallpaper, the W2W carpeting, the tile work, the wood work, every tree, shrub, flower & paver. and most of it was done by my own hand (you now know precisely WHY i have such a rotten back.....::SIGH::)

i miss my house. well, i miss my old house. henry has not been kind or attentive to all the hard 6+ years of work i put into it. the place now looks like a tornado ripped through it. nothing is clean like i had it, it all needs to be repainted, the paper is peeling, the grout is dirty, the carpet needs cleaning & THE LINEN CLOSET IS A DISASTER AREA!!! sorry.....i digress....back to topic.

i have done some decorating here (notice the italicized "some"....which roughly translates into not NEAR the amount that i really want.....):

my bedroom got a fresh coat of flat latex (if you paint your walls with semi-gloss in other than the bath, kitchen, floorboards, doorframes & entry doors, you are EVIL!!! grrrrrrrrrrrrr) over the much used semi-gloss, plain-ass white they use in every single apartment complex known to man. its a lovely shade of taupey-kind-of-lavenderish, with a cute little hand stenciled ivy border winding throughout the middle of the wall throughout the whole room.

my bathroom is done in americana w/ a festive RW&B wallpapered border & several cute americana accents all over the walls.

the kids room is a flat latex cote d'azure blue with hand painted underwater flora & fauna....some from our own creation....some we "borrowed" from nickelodeon.

the kids bath is a cute blue/white/yellow combo for their ducky's taking a bath bathroom theme. (which of course, if you visited me during the holiday season, this whole theme was removed only to be replaced by red/green/white holiday decor with holly sprigs & festive woodland creatures.......YES I DECORATE THEMED FOR THE HOLIDAYS IN THE MAIN BATH....which happens to be the kids bath.....lol!)

other than that, nothing. nada. i had fixed up the backyard. put in grass, painted the wooden fences to make them look like redwood. added woodchips to the area by cinnamon's cage. placed lovely potted flowers & such all over the place. but now it looks like a disaster area back there (its currently being used as our storage depot ....::SIGH::) i didn't do any kind of window treatments, nothing special in the kitchen, nothing extraordinary in the livingroom or dining room. nothing. its all just there. and now my holiday decorations (that had given life to things that were once lifeless...) have to come down. well, i could keep them up year-round....but people will talk....more than they already do.

i'm sad here people. i know that i get to do something WAY fun in the near future....house-hunt! but in the mean time, i'm miserable in my little cramped existence. i know that in a few short months, i get to choose what & how many rooms, bathrooms, basement (yes or no), backyard, kitchen, diningroom, bonus rooms, car garages, deck, porches, etc.... and then it will be my blank canvas to use at my disposal. i can burst with creative juices & let my explosion create a cavalcade of color throughout my house.

but i hate waiting. and this weekend, my only source of decorative expressiveness.....is coming down.

i need a house.

the '05 year in review....

2006-01-03T13:53:00.000-08:00

so, i was over at shan's and she had this cute list so i figured, hell....i'll borrow it (i borrow lots from shan....good thing for her, we don't live next door ;) .)

its the 2005 rundown......

january - went to er via ambulance on NYD. what a way to kick off the year, huh? i wind up layed up for about a week with a non-responsive back. kid are monsters, house goes uncleaned. oh joy. oh yeah, daddy henry has a birthday, so does aunt kat & grandma maria.

february - its the big v-day. nothing special. we're broke & getting ready to move. packing starts. house looks like a tornado. kids are monsters, house goes uncleaned. i'm in convulsions because of this. back seems to be improving.

march - its the luck'o'the irish month. so that means i've got to make corned beef & green beer. we're still packing. have i mentioned i hate moving? and this isn't the last time. gabe & claudia celebrate their first holy communion. oh yeah, the back goes out again. so i spend yet another week in traction. oh joy.

april - its easter. time to make baskets. my lea has her 5th birthday. MOVING DAY! oh joy...the back is acting up. we have visitors -- dona & horace, dale's parents. 1st visit in eons.... we head off to the mouse house! :) disneyland is so much easier when you're in a scooter! :) now starts unpacking. oh joy

may - mother's day month. dale changes jobs. happy birthdays this month to aunt kristin & nana! :) house is very tornado like. have i mentioned i hate moving? most of the boxes are gone. i'm off to the ortho for a consult. keeping fingers (and spine) crossed.

june - papa turns 33! its hotter than hades here in los angeles. the house is coming around. we paint the kids room in an undersea theme. school ends for claudia & gabe. ortho sends me to pain management for injections. hope they work! :)

july - we celebrate america's birthday at auntie dawn's house. pool, food, fireworks. we go to the beach. ALOT. its hotter now than last month. the house looks like a disaster area again. i'm redecorating. the back is twiching.

august - jake is 3 on the 4!! gabe hits 8 on the 22!! we head to universal studios for their collective birthdays....turns out to be one of the hottest days on record. oh joy. we're all dying. where is the nick portion with the water?? BTS shopping! :) dale starts a new career in the mortgage industry as data manager! :)

september - school starts! :) lea is now officially in school as a kinder! claudia is in 4th & gabe in 3rd. jake gets moved to a new teacher. let's see what happens. its cooling off some! :) let's hope fall starts early! :)

october - its hot again. bummer. its also halloween & both grandpa ken's & pop's birthdays! :) we garner tons of the sweet stuff on our romp. the kids have parties all over. jake is a hit with his pillsbury costume. shots have done nothing but make back worse. oh joy.

november - mom hits 33....oh crap. jenette is now legal....18. oh crap. jenny gets a job! :) she's a target girl! turkey day goes off without a hitch. am referred to a neuro. he says there is nothing he can do. its not severe enough (@@!!) yet. well, THATS A RELIEF!! not. its still hot as hell. where is my fall?!?!?!?!?

december - almost the end of the line. thank the maker. claudia is now a double digit kid.....10! we get ready for christmas. there isn't enough time. the house is finally all clean & looks FABU....even though i really need a house. i'll make do for now..... NYE is here! :) chris, gordon & the boys come over. its a fun night. they leave at 11. the kids bathe & we all wait for midnight. i can't believe they're all awake! i can't believe the year is over!! its now 2006. its raining. oh joy.....nice way to start off the year.....well, at least i'm not in the ER......i feel the back start to twich.......

happy 2006 everyone! :) make it a great year!

look for new adventures in the YIR '06 as the graciano-roe zoo head east! :) we're off to NC - this july!!

NYE!!!

2005-12-31T11:41:00.000-08:00

i send out to all my
blog readers,
my friends & my family....

a most
sincere wish for a joyous
and prosperous new
year.

may 2006 usher in
joy, temperance,
peace and most of all....
love.

make sure you kiss
that special someone at midnight,

eat your 12 grapes,

have money in your
pocket,

and love in your
heart.

HAPPY NEW YEAR
EVERYONE!!

she tagged me.....damn.....

2005-12-28T16:17:00.000-08:00

I have been tagged from over at Chris'.

These are the rules of the game:

The first player chose a topic. In this case, the topic is FIVE WEIRD HABITS OF YOURS.
You must then write a journal entry listing those weirdnesses you possess~as well as the rules of the game.
Then, you select FIVE PEOPLE TO TAG and link their names/blogs in your entry.
Go to their journals and leave a comment informing them they have been tagged by you and to read your journal to see in what way they have been nailed!
Those five then MUST write an entry listing their weird habits and tag an additional five people.

since chris is a PITA, she'll bug me to no end to do this. so, i might as well play along & shut up about it. and if i tag you.....humor me. or kill chris, your choice. :)

5 WEIRD HABITS OF MINE:

1). i cannot stand to go to bed if the house if messy. even if i'm incapacitated with my back, sick or completely exhausted....i will clean house from top to bottom or i can't sleep the whole night.

2). i am addicted to lotion. i have a million of them all on my nightstand. i will sit there, for at least 20 minutes, to determine what mood i'm in, so i know which one to put on.

3). i will take everything out of my linen closet & rearrange it, even if i had just done it the day before. I AM OCD about the linen closet.

4). i also arrange the money in my wallet. it has to be in numerical order....doesn't matter which way though. but it all must face forward. i also have the habit of taking other people's wallets & doing it to theirs. used to drive my parents INSANE. lol!!

5). i have this annoying habit of grinding my teeth, but i put my lower teeth in front of my upper teeth. and do a mini biting thing. its really weird if i type it out. lol!! but its an inherited trait. my father & brother also do it. and there were times that you can catch us doing it simultaneously. the taylor clan is weird.

and since she's tagged me & dale....i don't know who to tag. :P cause i know NO ONE on here yet....

but there. don't say i don't play along twin.... :)

whew!

2005-12-26T22:11:00.000-08:00

i don't know about you all, but i am bushed. what a melee!!

the kids, of course, got way too much stuff. but it was totally fun. and totally worth it. this was the first year that jake really understood what was going on. and it was a BLAST!! he had such a great day. and got tons of cool stuff. he was totally thrilled with everything he got.

my other monsters were spoiled just as well. they all loved what they had garnered from the jolly old elf. and if you read DC's post...about my wonderlings trying to "trap" santa ( and know just how kooky that was....).....they were FLIPPIN' THRILLED to see that santa had not only eaten his cookies.....but that he had set off the trap & had spent a few seconds spelling out (in the snare-trapping wooden blocks) " S A N T A D R O P P E D B Y 1 2 - 2 5 " right in front of the tree.

dc spoiled me rotten (as he was NOT supposed to do...but hell...i won't argue....) and i got way too much loot. my future MIL bought me an AWESOME MP3 player (jesus those things are tiny!!!) and its already filled with my 80's rock & disco!! (much to the chagrin of my jenny & dale.....i was singing at the top of my lungs....)

<-----------is not a singer......no way, no how. will leave that to dale & dona. :)

dale got exactly what he wanted. books, movies & donald paraphanalia. can't go wrong for him at all.

we had a lovely dinner....even henry was nice. which was really a first.

but most of all, i was in the christmas mood. FINALLY. i had all my kids, my love, my cats & my self. we were all together. and next christmas proves to be better than this one....hopefully there will be a bigger, more extended family gathered around my christmas tree.

i hope that everyone had a great holiday. i know i did. i learned a few things this season. had a few good experiences, had a few bad ones, had a few humbled ones. i'm looking forward to the new year. i'm ready to usher in a brand new year. ready to let go of this one....really ready.

now i've got to figure out where all their new shit is going to go. whee. and clean the house in preparation for ringing in 2006. it's already shaping up to be a PITA. oh joy.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE!! :)

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

2005-12-25T21:17:00.000-08:00

We Wish You A Merry Christmas

We wish you a merry Christmas
We wish you a merry Christmas
We wish you a merry Christmas
And a happy New Year.

Glad tidings we bring
To you and your kin;
Glad tidings for Christmas
And a happy New Year!

We want some figgy pudding
We want some figgy pudding
We want some figgy pudding
Please bring it right here!

Glad tidings we bring
To you and your kin;
Glad tidings for Christmas
And a happy New Year!

We won't go until we get some
We won't go until we get some
We won't go until we get some
So bring it out here!

Glad tidings we bring
To you and your kin;
Glad tidings for Christmas
And a happy New Year!

We wish you a Merry Christmas
We wish you a Merry Christmas
We wish you a Merry Christmas
And a happy New Year.

Glad tidings we bring
To you and your kin;
Glad tidings for Christmas
And a happy New Year!

~~~~~~~~~~

From our house to yours...

Merry Christmas!

Love,

Dale, Jeni, Jenette, Claudia, Gabriel, Lea & Jake

IT'S 1!! WE'RE DONE!!

2005-12-24T18:37:00.000-08:00

merry christmas eve everyone!!

are you all tracking santa, as he cruises throughout the world, delivering toys?? you can track santa on NORAD. this is their 50th anniversary of tracking the jolly old elf on his journey! go check it out! :)

well....its down to the wire folks. if you haven't bought it, it more than likely isn't getting bought. they can do WITHOUT. its ok.

i had a most somber afternoon today. coming home from picking up my eldest from work....we passed a terrible car accident that had just happened. and of course, the mommy in me stops to see what i can do.

pinned in the car is a young lady not much older than my jenny. looking terribly frightened, asking about her father, not concerned with herself in the least. and she was the one worse off.... let's suffice it to say that i hope she makes it through the night. and as i stood there, amongst other concerned citizens, i tried my best to keep her calm & to get her to stop moving and touching her face.

just relax. breathe sweetie. the ambulance is on its way. they'll take good care of you in a few seconds. i know it hurts. just listen to me sweetie. your dad is fine. he's right over there. he's with some other nice people. please try to relax honey. everything will be alright. anything broke, they can fix. you're still beautiful. everything will be fine. you'll see. just lay your head on this towel. its ok. i know it hurts honey. let the nice men help you. its ok. you'll see your dad soon sweetie. i know baby. its ok. its ok.

after finally extracting her from her car, they raced her off. all i know is her name was crystal.

please say a gentle prayer for her tonight.

this is for her....

O Holy Night
J.S.Dwight & A.C.Adam, 19th Century

O holy night,
the stars are brightly shining;
It is the night of
our dear Savior's birth!
Long lay the world
in sin and error pining,
Till He appeared
and the soul felt its worth.
A thrill of hope,
the weary world rejoices,
For yonder breaks
a new and glorious morn.
Fall on your knees,
O hear the angel voices!
O night divine,
O night when Christ was born!
O night divine, O night,
O night divine!

Led by the light of Faith
serenely beaming,
With glowing hearts
by His cradle we stand.
So led by light of a star
sweetly gleaming,
Here came the wise men
from Orient land.
The King of Kings lay thus
in lowly manger,
In all our trials
born to be our Friend!
He knows our need,
To our weakness no stranger;
Behold your King!
Before the lowly bend!
Behold your King! your King!
before Him bend.

Truly He taught us
to love one another;
His law is love and
His gospel is peace.
Chains shall He break
for the slave is our brother
And in His name
all oppression shall cease.
Sweet hymns of joy in
grateful chorus raise we,
Let all within us
praise His holy name!
Christ is the Lord,
Oh praise His name forever,
His pow'r and glory evermore proclaim
His pow'r and glory
evermore proclaim.

only 2 more to do, as she opens the flue...

2005-12-23T11:20:00.000-08:00

wow. only 2 days left. i think i'm feeling a bit more christmasy this morning. and its got nothing to do with the weather. (new forcasts show its going to be 79 & 76 respectively on eve & day.....yet on the 26th it will be 66 and dropping......::SIGH::)

last night we had originally intended to go to the DWP lights display over at griffith park (put on in conjunction with the city of LA & the DWP). its really cute, for those of you who don't live here. its a drive-thru lights display. and its all different things that are southern california. they pipe in music too, so its cute. line is long as hell to get in, but its worth it. sometimes.....

but we didn't go there.

i've been a scrooge. i'll admit it. i'm so ready to chuck this whole holiday into the shitcan. well, until last night. we took the kids to hastings ranch. its the perfect example of people who come together, just for the spirit of the holiday.

there are about 40 blocks. ALL DECORATED. and they love to do it. its tradition. its an honor. the community just comes together to spread some holiday cheer to their neighbors. it was lovely. and to see the kids crowded around the Labbe's house (complete with santa's sleigh, large scale toy train & SNOW!! :) ) and to see jake get all happy, was all worth it.

Merry Christmas Everyone! :)

today's submission is compliments of my main squeeze.....he's got a weird sense of music, but he's cute....so it all makes up for it.

Winter Wassail
by Faith and the Muse

Wassail Wassail; All merit good cheer
We wish thee dear faithful a wondrous New Year
Our fine bowl is made of the white maple tree
With the Wassailing bowl we honor thee

So here by the fire good spirits renewed
We wish thee dear faithful: thy dreams may come true
As white snow doth fall o'er the old willow tree
Wassail Wassail; We honor thee

So come all young maidens and join us in song
For this is the season warm love need hold strong
The cold wind doth blow o'er the elderwood tree
Wassail Wassail; We honor thee

3 there be, as she lights up the tree

2005-12-22T12:02:00.000-08:00

i think i'm on the brink of madness. who do i have to kill to get this whole thing over & done with? i don't think i have that much pull. damn.

anywho....just cause i'm not in the mood for christmas doesn't mean i can't share more of my holiday ditties with you. so for todays submission.....as i try to get into the mood (again...::SIGH::), one of my all time favorites.

Winter Wonderland
Dick Smith, Felix Bernard 1934

Sleigh bells ring, are you listening,
in the lane, snow is glistening
A beautiful sight,
we're happy tonight,
walking in a winter wonderland.

Gone away is the bluebird,
here to stay is a new bird
He sings a love song,
as we go along,
walking in a winter wonderland.

In the meadow we can build a snowman,
Then pretend that he is Parson Brown
He'll say: Are you married?
we'll say: No man,
But you can do the job
when you're in town.

Later on, we'll conspire,
as we dream by the fire
To face unafraid,
the plans that we've made,
walking in a winter wonderland.

In the meadow we can build a snowman,
and pretend that he's a circus clown
We'll have lots of fun with mister snowman,
until the other kids knock him down.

When it snows, ain't it thrilling,
Though your nose gets a chilling
We'll frolic and play, the Eskimo way,
walking in a winter wonderland.

Walking in a winter wonderland,
walking in a winter wonderland.

4 more as she heads for the door....

2005-12-21T15:39:00.000-08:00

and to thank my main squeeze for his attentiveness (and the fact that he tried to finish shopping for me this afternoon all on his own in a hellacious wal-fart), i dedicate today's entry to him. merry christmas babe.

All I Want For Christmas Is You
- M. Carey - W. Afanasieff -

I don't want a lot for Christmas
There's just one thing I need
I don't care about the presents
Underneath the Christmas tree
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true...
All I want for Christmas is you...

I don't want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need
I don't care about the presents
Underneath the Christmas tree
I don't need to hang my stocking
There upon the fireplace
Santa Claus won't make me happy
With a toy on Christmas day
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas is you...
You baby

I won't ask for much this Christmas
I won't even wish for snow
I'm just gonna keep on waiting
Underneath the mistletoe
I won't make a list and send it
To the North Pole for Saint Nick
I won't even stay awake to
Hear those magic reindeer click
'Cause I just want you here tonight
Holding on to me so tight
What more can I do
Baby all I want for Christmas is you...

All the lights are shining
So brightly everywhere
And the sound of children's
Laughter fills the air
And everyone is singing
I hear those sleigh bells ringing
Santa won't you bring me the one I really need
Won't you please bring my baby to me

Oh I don't want a lot for Christmas
This is all I'm asking for
I just want to see baby
Standing right outside my door
Oh I just want him for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
Baby all I want for Christmas is you...

All I want for Christmas is you baby

last night... (and mini rant....)

2005-12-21T15:08:00.000-08:00

yesterday was ok. it was funny. the party (which started out as nothing such, but ended as...) was a hit. the kids kept inviting other kids from the complex over. we had originally intended for only 2 to go, then 4 were invited; the neighbor kids tried to invite themselves (more on this whole drama later...lol!) and in the end, only 3 accompanied us to claudia's shindig.

everyone from henry's side went (well, it seems like everyone, but its really not. to have them all (a good 75+) in one place at one time is a terrifying thought & an even scarier experience. i did it twice. never again. no more leeches, mom. no more leeches, mom.)

so, the kids went in, ran around like lunatics loose from the asylum. grownups ate & gossiped. his family was pleasant to dale. which is a first. they always manage to treat him like he has denege fever. its really quite sad. this from the family that lauded my own, cause we accepted jenette without hesitation, as my own child.

it is my understanding that people out west aren't that accomidating when it comes to inter-twining their family ties.

funny, you'd think they would considering that so many of the families out here more than not have more than one mom/dad/sister/brother/aunt/uncle combo. now, i'm not knocking this. my own immediate family consists of steps. and i myself am an excellent step-mom (just ask jenny....even on a bad day, i'm better than her real mother is (A WHOLE OTHER SET OF DRAMA THERE FOLKS!)

anywho, back to the party. she got lots of nice things. ate too much. drank too much. and definitely FLIRTED too much for my taste. yes, flirted. with the boy 2 doors down from us. he's a cutie-patootie, adam. but i'm afraid that if he comes within 3 feet of my daughter any time in the near future......i'm going to rearrange that cutie-patootie mug of his.

cute or no, back off of the poohbear.

and to top everything off, i was sick as a dog. and thanks to my sweetie, i am feeling somewhat better. i said somewhat. not completely. don't go expecting miracles folks. especially since the southern california weather gods have decided once again to revert back to summer.

i hate summer. have i ever told you all that? i grew up in miami. so i know summer. REAL SUMMER. humidity, bugs, heat, humidity, bugs, heat, humidity, bugs, heat...oh yeah....let's not forget to throw in TONS OF FUCKING RAIN every few hours, just to make things interesting. did i mention there was humidity, bugs & heat? so, i'm no stranger to heat.

and i hate it. despise it. loathe it. with a passion not known to many. it repulses me. makes me ill. makes me meaner than a hornet. and i really hate to sweat. so, i kinda liked so cal with its climate changes. yeah, it gets hot here. but not miami hot. so i can live.

BUT THIS SHIT IS ABSOFUCKINGRIDICULOUS!!!

weather forcasts for christmas day is 86!! 86!! what the hell?? if i wanted a hot christmas, i'd go spend it in miami with my wacko mother, bubba & kat! LIKE HELL I WANT A HOT HOLIDAY!!

WHO IS ASLEEP AT THE CONTROLS?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Yo! mother nature!! you forgot to switch us to WINTER!!

i'm going to have to use the air conditioner on christmas day. do you know how long its been since i've had to do that?? SINCE I LIVED IN MIAMI!! so, 1993?? good lord.

sorry....i digress. its the heat. makes me loopy. (no comments from the peanut gallery)

10 things about Claudia...

2005-12-20T12:21:00.000-08:00

#1. she still has her pooh-bear blankie that she came home from the hospital with.
#2. she loves the color pink.
#3. she has a lazy eye that they operated on, but now the other eye looks lazy! but it's ok, she's still a beaut! :)
#4. she loves rice and potatoes.
#5. her first sentence was, "I want my bankie now!"
#6. she loves to watch scary movies & scary documentaries.
#7. she loves to help everyone out.
#8. wore cabbage patch clothes when she was first born.
#9. likes Harry Potter.
#10. is very much a girly-girl (much to the chagrin to her mom)

and here is the song that i used to play endlessly for her when she was inutero & once she was here & unable to sleep. Tavares - Heaven must be missing an angel. and they must be, cause she is one. let it load...its so worth it! :) HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY GIRL!!!

it all started....

2005-12-20T11:47:00.000-08:00

at 2AM. (yes, this is going to be an ode to my poohbear....)

and off to the hospital i went at 8, only to be sent home by 9. by this time, i had decided that labor & hospitals BOTH SUCK ASS!!

then at roughly 3PM, my water broke. but being a 1st time laborer, i had no clue. i thought i peed all over myself. thank god my ex-husband had the presence of mind to say, "I think we should go now."

but i wasn't hearing it. i had changed my mind. this labor shit is for the birds. i think i'll just stop now. (yeah....riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight...................) then the pushing started. i think it was then that i decided to go to the hospital.

on the car ride (which is now happening during early rush hour....4:30PM) to the lovely Kaiser Bellflower Hospital, both legs are braced against the dashboard of our 89 toyota.

henry driving, screams, "you aren't pushing are you? you're not supposed to do that until they tell you to....."
me grunting & really pissed off, "YEAH....LIKE I'M GOING TO WAIT FOR THEM?!?!?!?!?!? THEY SENT ME HOME!!!!!!!!!!"
"well knock that off! you can't have her here in the car!"
"YOU WANNA TRY TO STOP ME?? TRY IT & DIE ASSHOLE!!"
"i don't know why you have to get so hostile."
"HOSTILE?? YOU WANNA SEE HOSTILE??? LEMME RIP YOU OPEN!! THEN WE'LL BE EVEN!"
"this isn't the time to make threats, jennifer."
"YEAH....I'LL THREATEN YOU.....P.O.S."
"look, there is the hospital. lemme park the car."
"PARK THE CAR?!?!?!? ARE YOU DAFT??? DON'T YOU SEE I'M IN LABOR?!?!?!?"
"well i don't know if i'll have the chance later on to move the car. and what if they tow it?"
"LIKE THEY NEVER HAVE WOMEN GO INTO LABOR HERE? WHEN EXACTLY DID YOU FALL OFF THE TUNA TRUCK?"
"more insults. thanks. like i'm not under enough pressure here?"
"YOU MUST REALLY WANT TO DIE, DON'T YOU? WHO ARE YOU???"
"look, there's a parking spot."

mind you all....he parked my laboring ass up on the 3rd floor. nice.....

"NOW I SUPPOSE YOU WANT ME TO WALK?"
"well, how are you supposed to get inside?"
"OH GOD, IF I WEREN'T IN LABOR RIGHT NOW I'D BRAIN YOU. YOU ARE A RETARD, KNOW THAT?"
"you know....i'm not making fun of you."
"OH MAN, ONCE THIS PAIN IS OVER WITH, I'M GOING TO KILL YOU. I HOPE YOU ENJOY THE NEXT FEW HOURS CAUSE AFTER THAT, YOUR ASS IS MINE. AND NOT IN A GOOD WAY EITHER."
"hurry up so we can catch the elevator!"
"???????????????????????????????????????????????"

meanwhile, there is this nice couple coming out of the hospital...

"do you need a wheelchair? HEY GUARD!! SHE NEEDS A WHEELCHAIR!! Honey, why are you parked up here?"
"DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU?!?"
"oh, sorry. the chair is coming. should we kill him for you?"
"WOULD YOU PLEASE??"

they laugh....i was serious. i finally get a wheelchair and an orderly.

"we're going to get you to L&D in two shakes."
"GREAT, CAUSE I'M ABOUT TO RUPTURE RIGHT HERE."
"well don't go doing that until they see you upstairs."
"YEAH, LIKE I COULD QUIT RIGHT NOW IF REALLY WANTED TO. CAN I? I MEAN, YOU ALL HAVE DRUGS TO START LABOR...HOW ABOUT STOPPING IT?"
"um....i don't think you really want this stopped now."
"LIKE HELL I DON'T. YOU HAVE NO CLUE. YOU'RE JUST A MAN."
"oh man, you sound like my wife did.", chuckles.
"PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME KILL YOU TOO."

we finally arrive up in L&D and i get into triage.

"well, what do we have here?"
"ARE YOU SHITTING ME? THIS IS A HOSPITAL & THIS IS L&D, RIGHT? THE DUDE DIDN'T TAKE ME TO THE WRONG FLOOR, RIGHT?"
"yes, sweetie. you're in the right place. now hop up onto this table so we can check you out."
"NUMBER ONE, I CANNOT HOP IN THIS CONDITION, SO BITE ME. NUMBER TWO, IF YOU SEND ME HOME AGAIN, I'M NEVER COMING BACK HERE EVER AGAIN."
"well you need to get up here so i can see how far along you are."
"FINE."
"ok, let's see.......you're.....OH MY! WE NEED A ROOM HERE!!!"
"is there a problem?"
"you are ready dear."
"DON'T I GET AN EPIDURAL?? I NEED SOMETHING!"
"oh no dear. you're ready to go!"
"WHAT?!?!?!? ALL THIS & NO DRUGS???? I HATE YOU ALL."
"well, you'll feel different in a little bit."
"LIKE HELL I WILL"

i get wheeled into a delivery room. oh joy.

"so, are you ready to deliver this.....let's see....what are you having....a girl! how lovely!"
"YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING, RIGHT??? DON'T IT LOOK LIKE I'M READY?!?!?!?!"
"well, sure...OMG..."
"WHAT?!?!?!?!?"
"um....doctor, i don't think this little one is going to wait..."
"well she better wait!"
"WELL I DON'T THINK SHE IS!!! CAUSE HERE SHE COMES!!"

it was 5:35PM.....we had the news on. henry didn't want to miss it. nice, huh?

"oh my! well wasn't that simple?"
"YEAH.....RIGHT. SIMPLE. SO SIMPLE I SHOULD HAVE 4 MORE." (very prophetic.....)
"well, what name have we decided to call this little cutie?"
"well we haven't really decided. can i see her?"
"oh my stars, of course! here you are!"

and they handed me my 3 week premature, 5lb. 6.5 oz., 18 inch, pink all over, no hair, green eyed, baby girl....my claudia elizabeth.

where claudia came from, i have no clue. it just popped into my head at the moment. elizabeth is for my mother & grandmother. (mom is kennie elizabeth & grandma is ora elizabeth)

happy 10th birthday, my twin, my pooh, my girl. i love you liz.

5 more days....oh jesus....

2005-12-20T10:14:00.000-08:00

and i feel like death. have i mentioned that? i feel like death. what joy to have children who give you their ailments.

today is just a great carol.....because its sung by who i think is probably the coolest "cat" on the planet....Ms. Eartha Kitt. me-ow baby! (and it also includes tons of shit that i....hell ANY girl....would want! :) )

Santa Baby
Music and lyrics, J. Javits & P. Springer
Sung by Eartha Kitt (1954)

Santa Baby, just slip a sable under the tree, for me.
Been an awful good girl, Santa Baby, so hurry down the chimney to me.

Santa Baby, a Fifty-four convertible too, light blue.
I'll wait up for you dear, Santa Baby, so hurry down the chimney to me.

Think of all the fun I've missed.
Think of all the fellas that I haven't kissed.
Next year, I could be just as good -- If you'll check off my Christmas list.

Santa Baby, I want a yacht and really that's not a lot.
Been an angel all year, Santa Baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight.

Santa Baby, forgot to mention one little thing, a ring.
I don't mean on the phone, Santa Baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight.
Hurry down the chimney tonight.

Santa, Honey, one little thing - I really need
the deed to a platinum mine,
Santa Baby. So, hurry down the chimney tonight.

Santa, Cutie, and fill my stocking with a duplex ... and checks.
Sign your 'X' on the line, Santa, Cutie, and hurry down the chimney tonight.

Come and trim my Christmas tree
with some decorations bought at Tiffany.
I really do believe in you.
Let's see if you believe in me.

Hurry . . . Tonight.

yikes! only 6 more left!!!

2005-12-19T16:15:00.000-08:00

and you know the funny thing?? I'M TOTALLY CALM! WTF!?!?!?!?!? what has happened to me? it's weird....like invasion of the body snatchers...lol!! i'm totally calm, only have 1/2 of my christmas presents done, tomorrow is claudia's 10th birthday, i haven't got her presents yet, i am coming down with a cold, its gotten hot again, the house is a mess, jenette stayed out too late last night, i have to pee, the kids outside are begging to come in to bake cookies and i've been dancing to disco all afternoon.

why am i not anal-retentively freaking the hell out??? dale, did you spike my tea?

oh well, todays submission is a song that just has to be on my list. a beloved classic with an even more classic cartoon. i give you....

Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer

Words by Robert L. May (c) 1947
Music by Johnny Marks

You know Dasher and Dancer
And Prancer and Vixen,
Comet and Cupid
And Donner and Blitzen.
But do you recall
The most famous reindeer of all?

Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer
Had a very shiny nose
And if you ever saw it..
You would even say it glows.

All of the other reindeer,
Used to laugh and call him names.
They never let poor Rudolph
Join in any reindeer games

Then one foggy Christmas Eve
Santa came to say--
Rudolph with your nose so bright,
Won't you guide my sleigh tonight?

Then all the reindeer loved him.
And they shouted out with glee!
"Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer
You'll go down in history!"

Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer
(reindeer)
Had a very shiny nose
(like a light bulb)
And if you ever saw it
(saw it)
You would even say it glows
(like a flash light)

All of the other reindeer
(reindeer)
Used to laugh and call him names
(like Pinochio)
They never let poor Rudolph
(Rudolph)
Join in any reindeer games
(like Monopoly)

Then one foggy Christmas Eve
Santa came to say
(Ho Ho Ho)
Rudolph with your nose so bright
Won't you guide my sleigh tonight?

Then all the reindeer loved him
(loved him)
And they shouted out with glee
(like toothpaste)
"Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer
(reindeer)
You'll go down in history!"
(like George Washington!)

7 days doth a week make....

2005-12-18T19:07:00.000-08:00

and holy shitzola, there is only one (THAT'S 1) week left until the most unholy of holy days (good lord....i'm goin' to hell for that one!) is here. i don't know about you all, but i'd much rather it all be over & new years be here. that way i can get schnockerd and forget this whole bloody 2005. anyone got a magnum? :D

i digress....sorry about that. today's submission is a holiday fave sung by the lovely ms. brenda lee.

Rocking around the Christmas Tree
Johnny Marks

Rocking around the Christmas tree
at the Christmas party hop
Mistletoe hung where you can see
every couple tries to stop

Rocking around the Christmas tree,
let the Christmas spirit ring
Later we'll have some pumpkin pie
and we'll do some caroling.

You will get a sentimental
feeling when you hear
Voices singing let's be jolly,
deck the halls with boughs of holly!

Rocking around the Christmas tree,
have a happy holiday
Everyone dancing merrily
in the new old-fashioned way.

holiday meme III

2005-12-17T15:54:00.000-08:00

just for the hell of it, another meme (what is that WORD?!?!?!?)

1. Hot Chocolate or apple cider? mostly hot cocoa, but sometimes cider
2. Turkey or Ham? my world famous turkey
3. Do you get a Fake or Real Christmas tree? this year fake, but ordinarily real.
4. Decorations on the outside of your house? yep...candy canes, a train, lights (C7 & twinkle...)
5. Snowball fights or sledding? sledding...the kids are really good at it...
6. Do you like hanging around the fireplace because it's warm? we don't have a fire place (YET!) but it would be for both warmth & ambiance.
7. Do you enjoy going downtown shopping? now that's a scary thought.....downtown los angeles. ::SHIVER::
8. Favorite Christmas song? Carol of the Bells by The Mormon Tabernacle Choir
9. How do you feel about Christmas movies? i even watch the cheesy made for TV ones!
10. When is it too early to start listening to Christmas music? never
11. Stockings before or after presents? before
12. Carolers, do you or do you not watch and listen to them? i've never seen carolers here in LA, but when i lived back in VG, we got some. and yes we listened & even participated! :)
13. Go to someone elses house or they come to you? i love being the hostess with the mostest! :)
14. Do you read the Christmas Story? yes
15. What do you do after presents and dinner? drug the kids & play all their cool new games! :)
16. What is your favorite holiday smell? christmas tree
17. Ice skating or walking around the mall? i should say ice skating, but i'd give up my 1st born to shop! :)
18. Most surprising gift you ever got? when i was in 7th grade, we had a gift exchange in french class. the most geekiest boy in school (yes, there was another one besides dale...) pulled my name & everyone teased me about it. i was mortified. but on the party day he got me a lovely Love's Baby Soft gift set. it was the nicest one out of the whole class. i was impressed, he scored points & all the other girls were jealous. lol!
19. Favorite Part about winter? snuggling
20.Favorite Christmas decor? my mini ornament christmas tree
21.Lights...colored or clear? both
22. What is the best Christmas gift you ever received? my stuffed chewie doll.
23. What is your favorite Christmas tradition in your family? the jesus stocking
24. What is your least favorite thing about the holidays? the crowds
25. What is the one thing that you would like to see under the tree this year? my brother & sister, but that won't happen. so i'll settle for a nintendo DS.
26. What is your favorite thing to do/build in the snow? watch the kids play in it.
27. What is your favorite holiday drink? since dc turned me on to it, comfort & joy hot tea.
28. Who is your favorite reindeer? Vixen....of course! :)
29. What is your Christmas Eve ritual? go to church, drive home by way of really cool christmas lights & then milk & cookie santa! :) it USED to be wrap until 4 & then collapse dead until 6. lol!
30. Are you a Friday after Thanksgiving shopper? I WORSHIP AT THE BLACK FRIDAY ALTAR!!!
31. What is your favorite holiday food? toss up between turkey, lima bean and carrot cassarole & pumpkin pie
32. How did you find out that Santa wasn't real? when i was 12, my mom was laid up with a bad back & she taught me all about being "santa"
33. Who do you want to be under the mistletoe with? since val kilmer will be unavailable, i'll settle for dale
34. Have you bought all your presents yet? almost
35. Do you spend Christmas with a lot of family? this year, just the kids. hopefully next year it will be with a huge group of family! :)
36. Do you still make snowmen and snow angels? when i have the chance i do.
37. How long will your tree stay up? until january 20th. my sisters birthday.
38. What do you plan to do for New Year's Eve? the usual. have a finger food feast & then keep the kids up until 12.
39. What's the most expensive thing you've gotten for Christmas? in 89, my panasonic cd/dual tape deck/turn table stereo from my daddy! :)
40. How early do you wake up on Christmas morning? as early as the kids get up. usually about 6.
41. What do you usually get in your stocking? candy, mini toys, etc...
42. What would you like to see this Christmas? snow, but it never snows this low in the valley.

8 days left.....

2005-12-17T15:42:00.000-08:00

i am a woman on a mission.....of maddness.

did you all know that my lovely 2nd eldest daughter's 10th birthday is this coming tuesday?!?!?? WHAT HAPPENED TO THE LAST 10 YEARS?!?!?!?!? i am in serious panic mode folks. i can't believe that my poohbear is going to be 10. it seems like just yesterday, she was a preemie. and here she is.....loud, obnoxious, opinionated......good lord, SHE'S ME!!! oh no......

well, for today's submission, i give you one of claudia's favorites.....

Percy the Puny Poinsettia
by Elmo & Patsy

Percy, the puny poinsettia
sitting with gloom and dismay.

If they had just kept him "wetta"
he'd be a houseplant today.

Folks like the other plants "betta"
now he's alone on the shelf.

Even a plant with no Uncle orAunt
shouldn't spendChristmas day by himself!

love....

2005-12-16T12:56:00.000-08:00

is going to the ER at 12:30 with your 18 year old daughter who is having a stress induced migraine. only to be the entertainment for her friends & the medical crew.

and to not get any sleep, cause you're busy doting over said 18 year old for 6+ hours. (who is now reduced to a blubbering pile of jelly...)

but....i love my jenny.

feel better baby.

9 days & counting....

2005-12-16T12:51:00.000-08:00

i heard that mrs. claus is making final repairs on santa's suit and that the reindeer are each getting a shiatsu massage......

today's submission is a favourite from my teenage years....

Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer
dr. Elmo, 1979, dr. Elmo's Twisted Christmas

Grandma got run over by a reindeer.
Walking home from our house Christmas eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
but as for me and grandpa we believe.

She'd been drinking too much eggnog,
and we begged her not to go.
But she forgot her medication, and she
staggered out the door into the snow.

Grandma got run over by a reindeer.
Walking home from our house Christmas eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
but as for me and grandpa we believe.

When we found her Christmas morning,
at the scene of the attack,
she had hoof-prints on her forehead,
and incriminating Claus marks on her back.

Now we're all so proud of grandpa,
He's been taking this so well.
See him in there watching football,
drinking root beer and
playing cards with Cousin Mel.

It's not Christmas without Grandma,
All the family's dressed in black
and we just can't help but wonder:
Should we open up her gifts,
or send them back?

Send them back!!

Grandma got run over by a reindeer.
Walking home from our house Christmas eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
but as for me and grandpa we believe.

Now the goose is on the table
and the pudding made of fig
and the blue and silver candles
that would just have matched
the hair on grandma's wig.

I've warned all my
friends and neighbors
better watch out for yourselves,
they should never give a license
to a man who drives a sleigh
and plays with elves.

Grandma got run over by a reindeer.
Walking home from our house Christmas eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
but as for me and grandpa we believe.

Merry Christmas!

only 10 shopping days left boys & girls!!

2005-12-15T14:24:00.000-08:00

so, are we all ready? i know that santa is making final preparations on his sleigh & going through his list one final time. so you know what that means....

Santa Claus Is Coming To Town
J. Fred Coots, Henry Gillespie (c) 1934

You better watch out
You better not cry
Better not pout
I'm telling you why
Santa Claus is coming to town

He's making a list,
And checking it twice;
Gonna find out Who's naughty and nice.
Santa Claus is coming to town

He sees you when you're sleeping
He knows when you're awake
He knows if you've been bad or good
So be good for goodness sake!

O! You better watch out!
You better not cry.
Better not pout, I'm telling you why.
Santa Claus is coming to town.

Santa Claus is coming to town.

11 frantic & festive days left...

2005-12-14T18:23:00.000-08:00

so, what do YOU have left to do before the inevitable? (kids bitching cause they didn't get what they asked for....)

as for me....i've basically got EVERYTHING left to do!! LOL!! i've got no santa presents, haven't gotten the kids any clothes, don't have things for my friend(s) .....oh my god becky.....someone shoot me.

CHRISTMAS IS 11 FRICKEN DAYS FROM NOW!!

and for todays submission, one of my favorites from my childhood....(OH MOMMY!!! ((VBEG)) ...and yes, my brother's name is john, i did break tons of shit on his head...just not a bat...lol! sorry bubba! I LOVE YOU!!)

Nuttin' For Christmas
S. Tepper, R. Bennett (c) 1955

I broke my bat on Johnny's head;
Somebody snitched on me.
I hid a frog in sister's bed;
Somebody snitched on me.

I spilled some ink on Mommy's rug;
I made Tommy eat a bug;
Bought some gum with a penny slug;
Somebody snitched on me.

Oh, I'm gettin' nuttin' for Christmas
Mommy and Daddy are mad.
I'm getting nuttin' for Christmas
'Cause I ain't been nuttin' but bad.

I put a tack on teacher's chair
somebody snitched on me.
I tied a knot in Susie's hair
somebody snitched on me.

I did a dance on Mommy's plants
climbed a tree and tore my pants
Filled the sugar bowl with ants
somebody snitched on me.

So, I'm gettin' nuttin' for Christmas
Mommy and Daddy are mad.
I'm gettin' nuttin' for Christmas
'Cause I ain't been nuttin' but bad.

I won't be seeing Santa Claus;
Somebody snitched on me.
He won't come visit me because
Somebody snitched on me.

Next year I'll be going straight;
Next year I'll be good, just wait
I'd start right now, but it's too late;
Somebody snitched on me.

So you better be good whatever you do
'Cause if you're bad, I'm warning you,
You'll get nuttin' for Christmas!!

holiday edition meme

2005-12-13T20:55:00.000-08:00

ok....what is a MEME anywho? i have no clue. but i got this one from Shannon. so here i go...

Holiday Edition MEME

Welcome to the 2005 Holiday Edition of Getting to Know Your Friends!

1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate? i like both, but am more partial to hot chocolate. and it would have to be my ghiradelli hot cocoa mix that we bought on our "trip" to san fran. lol!
2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree? Santa brings gifts wrapped in individually chosen "SANTA PAPER" for each kid.
3. Colored lights on tree/house or white? well i used to do colored & white on the tree, but since this year we opted for an artifical tree (no sense in having a real one out here...it'll be dead in 2 days...) it came with white lights. and the outside has colored lights.
4. Do you hang mistletoe? yeah. we have mistletoe on the chandelier in the LR....i had a kissing ball, but the ex kept it for his house.
5. When do you put your decorations up? its always been the weekend before turkey day.
6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)? would have to be my great-grandmother's lima bean & carrot cassarole. since she passed, it gets made by everyone in their respective houses.
7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child? i'm not really sure. i've got too many to remember.
8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? would have to be when i was 12 & my mother threw her back out. i had to play santa that year. and she taught me all about "how to be santa!" :)
9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? when i was a kid, no way. we did christmas morning. now, the ex's family does it & i used to let the kids open just one on christmas eve. but i put the kibosh on that & we're back to the 25th.
10. What kind of cookies does Santa get set out for him? it depends....when i was a kid, he used to get berliner kranzers or angel kisses. now he gets whatever is freshly baked! :)
11. Snow! Love it or Dread it? love it, but don't get it out here....that's going to change next winter! :)
12. Can you ice skate? yes. jeanette cook's step-dad taught me when i was about 9. :)
13. Do you remember your favorite gift? would have to be my stuffed chewbacca when i was about 6.
14. What’s the most important thing about the Holidays for you? everything. spending it with the kids, making it as picture perfect as i can get it on a shoestring budget & in an apartment....but its going to change....REAL SOON! :)
15. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert? would have to be my homemade pumpkin pie. mmmmmm...nummy!
16. What is your favorite holiday tradition? the jesus stocking. it started at my mother's & has continued in my house. jesus gets a plain stocking & in it you put your hopes & dreams for either someone else or everyone else in the new coming year.
17. What tops your tree? the angel i bought myself (my very 1st christmas decoration) about 15 years ago...
18. Which do you prefer Giving or Receiving? giving. i like making sure that everyone else has a better holiday than i do. :)
19. What is your favorite Christmas Carol? carol of the bells....sung by the mormon tabernacle choir. its breathtakingly beautiful.
20. Candy Canes! i love them, but DC's not a fan.

12 days to go....

2005-12-13T07:45:00.000-08:00

and of course, what better fitting song?

The 12 Days Of Christmas

On the first day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
A partridge in a pear tree.

On the second day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree.

On the third day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Three French hens,
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree.

On the fourth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Four calling birds,
Three French hens,
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree.

On the fifth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Five golden rings,
Four calling birds,
Three French hens,
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree.

On the sixth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Six geese a-laying,
Five golden rings,
Four calling birds,
Three French hens,
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree.

On the seventh day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Seven swans a-swimming,
Six geese a-laying,
Five golden rings,
Four calling birds,
Three French hens,
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree.

On the eighth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Eight maids a-milking,
Seven swans a-swimming,
Six geese a-laying,
Five golden rings,
Four calling birds,
Three French hens,
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree.

On the ninth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Nine ladies dancing,
Eight maids a-milking,
Seven swans a-swimming,
Six geese a-laying,
Five golden rings,
Four calling birds,
Three French hens,
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree.

On the tenth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Ten lords a-leaping,
Nine ladies dancing,
Eight maids a-milking,
Seven swans a-swimming,
Six geese a-laying,
Five golden rings,
Four calling birds,
Three French hens,
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree.

On the eleventh day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Eleven pipers piping,
Ten lords a-leaping,
Nine ladies dancing,
Eight maids a-milking,
Seven swans a-swimming,
Six geese a-laying,
Five golden rings,
Four calling birds,
Three French hens,
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree.

On the twelfth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Twelve drummers drumming,
Eleven pipers piping,
Ten lords a-leaping,
Nine ladies dancing,
Eight maids a-milking,
Seven swans a-swimming,
Six geese a-laying,
Five golden rings,
Four calling birds,
Three French hens,
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree!

13 days.....

2005-12-12T12:25:00.000-08:00

i'm feeling somewhat better. i *think* my drink was spiked. but i have no way to prove it. but other than feeling like i've been hit by a mack truck, i'm fine. i'll live to fight another day. now i've just got to get up the energy to clean this house....which looks like a tornado ripped through it. oh the joys of being southern during the holidays. (for the record...the house isn't all that messy, but to me, looks like a disaster area.....::SIGH::)

Up On the Housetop

Up On the Housetop
reindeer pause,
Out jumps good old Santa Claus.
Down thru' the chimney
with lots of toys,
All for the little ones,
Christmas joys.

Ho, ho, ho!
Who wouldn't go!
Ho, ho, ho!
Who wouldn't go!
Up on the housetop,
click, click, click,
Down thru' the chimney
with good Saint Nick.

First comes the stocking
of little Nell,
Oh, dear Santa
fill it well;
Give her a dolly
that laughs and cries
One that will open
and shut her eyes.

Ho, ho, ho!
Who wouldn't go!
Ho, ho, ho!
Who wouldn't go!
Up on the housetop,
click, click, click,
Down thru' the chimney
with good Saint Nick.

Next comes the stocking
of little Will,
Oh just see
what a glorious fill
Here is a hammer
and lots of tacks,
Also a ball
and a whip that cracks.

Ho, ho, ho!
Who wouldn't go!
Ho, ho, ho!
Who wouldn't go!
Up on the housetop,
click, click, click,
Down thru' the chimney
with good Saint Nick.

14 days....

2005-12-11T21:07:00.000-08:00

i am not going to post a song today. sorry, but i'm extremely ill....just got back from the ER

merry christmas indeed.....

15 days...

2005-12-10T10:20:00.000-08:00

todays submission.....this is what i need.....someone find me the Mormon Tabernacle Choir! :)

We Need A Little Christmas

Haul out the holly
Put up the tree before my spirit falls again
Fill up the stockings
I may be rushing things but,
deck the halls again now...

For we need a little Christmas,
Right this very minute.
Candles in the window,
Carols at the spinet...
Yes, we need a little Christmas
Right this very minute....

It hasn't snowed a single flurry
But Santa, dear, we're in a hurry

Climb down the chimney,
Put up the brightest string of lights I've ever seen!
Slice up the fruitcake,
It's time we hung some tinsel on that evergreen bough!

For I've grown a little leaner...
Grown a little colder...
Grown a little sadder...
Grown a little older...
And I need a little angel...
Sitting on my shoulder...
We need a little Christmas now!

For we need a little music...
Need a little laughter...
Need a little singing...
Ringing through the rafters...
And we need a little snappy...
"Happy ever after"
We need a little Christmas now!

16 days....and possibly feeling the spirit...

2005-12-09T20:59:00.000-08:00

oh wait...its just gas.

day 16's submission, for your viewing pleasure.

Christmas In Killarney

The holly green, the ivy green
The prettiest picture you've ever seen
Is Christmas in Killarney
With all of the folks at home

It's nice, you know, to kiss your beau
While cuddling under the mistletoe
And Santa Claus you know, of course
Is one of the boys from home

The door is always open
The neighbors pay a call
And Father John before he's gone
Will bless the house and all

How grand it feels to click your heels
And join in the fun of the jigs and reels
I'm handing you no blarney
The likes you've never known

Is Christmas in Killarney
With all of the folks at home

17 days to go....and i'm in a miserable mood.

2005-12-08T12:30:00.000-08:00

ok...so i'm going to continue putting up my christmas carols...even though i feel like shit, lost $20 bucks, have my period (i know...TMI), my kids are monsters, my ex is freaking weird & today my boyfriend just about sucked.

i am so ready to put this flippin holiday in the shitcan.

but ever the pollyana...here is today's submission.....

Let It Snow!
Sammy Cahn, Jule Styne (c) 1945

Oh, the weather outside is frightful,
But the fire is so delightful,
And since we've no place to go,
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.

It doesn't show signs of stopping,
And I brought some corn for popping;
The lights are turned way down low,
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.

When we finally say good night,
How I'll hate going out in the storm;
But if you really hold me tight,
All the way home I'll be warm.

The fire is slowly dying,
And, my dear, we're still good-bye-ing,
But as long as you love me so.
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.

18 days... (please turn up your volume & LET IT LOAD!! :) )

2005-12-07T09:26:00.000-08:00

remember when you were a kid??

listen!

O Tannenbaum

O Tannenbaum, or, in its English version, "O Christmas Tree" is a Christmas carol of German origin.

A Tannenbaum is a fir tree (German die Tanne) or Christmas tree (der Weihnachtsbaum). Its evergreen qualities have long inspired musicians to write several "Tannenbaum" songs in German.

The best known version was penned in 1824 by a Leipzig organist and teacher named Ernst Anschütz. The melody is an old folk tune. The first known "Tannenbaum" song lyrics date back to 1550. A similar 1615 song by Melchior Franck (1573-1639) goes:
Ach Tannenbaum, ach Tannenbaum, du bist ein edler Zweig! Du grünest uns den Winter, die liebe Sommerzeit.

The tune is also used the melody of the British Labour Party song, The Red Flag, as well as that of Maryland's official state song, Maryland, My Maryland.

..

this version is compliments of Schroeder, my favorite peanut piano player.

as dc says...

2005-12-06T23:01:00.000-08:00

when the muse hits...hit back.

so, if you go by my sweetie's blog (DC) then you will see this little "exercise" he posted (i swear...he can be such a writer at times...lol!)

~~~~~~~~

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Making Christmas Bright
OK, so I'm not in the Christmas spirit.

But I'm going to try.

Anyone who wants to try with me, here's an exercise.

1. The Ghost of Christmas Past - What present was your favorite to get as a child? Not a specific gift, but a type of gift, or maybe gifts from a certain person?
2. The Ghost of Christmas Present - What is one thing you love about Christmas? Not loved....love.
3. The Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come - Name a tradition that that you would like to start—or restart—in the future.

All right...who else wants to play?

If you pick up the challenge please post a link to your answers as a comment to this post at http://www.dcroe.com/2005/12/making-christmas-bright.html.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

and as we were sitting in bed, i saw my Twin's entry (chris) and had to come write. mainly to say a big, fat

NEENER, NEENER, NEENER

to everyone!! i've SEEN the pics of the boys. and damn if you don't want to sop them up with a dinner biscuit & eat them alive!! i love them two. some of the most handsome & sweetest kids on the planet (not forsaking my own beauties either...) i can't wait for my card! :)

back to the "exercise"...sweetie, here ya go.

1. Past - would have to be, not what i got, but how it was wrapped. you see, everyone (well, us kids everyone) got their toys from Santa. and each one of us not only got toys from Santa...but from Mrs. Claus, The Reindeer & The Elves. and not only did we get presents from all of them....we each got our own Santa Paper.

Santa Paper is extremely important...well now it is, but as a kid I couldn't see that for shit. my mother (whom i bash on more occasions than i care to count...but is truly a wonderful person) really tried to maintain that whole illusion for us as long as she could. each one of us (me, bubba & kat) would get santa/reindeery paper identical for the reindeer presents. santa/elfy paper identical for elf gifts.

but santa's gifts were special. each one got their own special paper that santa had picked out for them especially. and you kept that paper for years on end. how my mother managed to keep a stock pile of these specific kinds of paper has me boggled. even when we were all teens & well beyond the point of believing in the jolly old elf, she kept giving us our paper. and when asked about it, she simply replied, "i don't know what you're talking about."

funny how paper, although so insignificant on christmas morning, piled high, ripped, crinkled, used....can turn into such a powerful memory.

2. present - santa paper. all the above & trying to teach my wonderful darling how important it is...even though no one but me will appreciate it.

but perhaps one day, when they're older...they'll remember...like i remember....and pass it on.

3. yet to come - white christmas....for real. i've been dreaming about a white christmas for .... oh.....33 years now. and have yet to experience one.

we have plans to move back east next year. i hope it comes to pass. i really want a house. that i can put up a million twinkle lights on (like in Nat'l Lampoon's Christmas Vacation) and see real frost on my windows. the glitter of the lights off the snow. the angered face of my son shoveling the snow. the hurt look of my other son's face when he realizes that his brother 5 years his junior can shovel snow & he can merely make a ball.

so there you have it. and you know what babe?

i feel christmas coming on....

19 days to go...(sorry i was late....)

2005-12-06T22:54:00.000-08:00

Little Saint Nick
Beach Boys

Ooh, Merry Christmas Day
(Christmas comes this time each year)

Well, way up north where the air gets cold
There's a tale about Christmas that you've all been told
And a real famous cat all dressed up in red
And he spends the whole year working out on his sled.

It's the little Saint Nick
(ooh little Saint Nick)
It's the little Saint Nick
(ooh little Saint Nick)

Just a little bobsled,
We call it old Saint Nick.
But she'll walk a toboggan with a 4-speed stick.
She's candy-apple red with a ski for a wheel
And when Santa hits the gas, man, just watch her peel.

It's the little Saint Nick
(ooh little Saint Nick)
It's the little Saint Nick
(ooh little Saint Nick)

A-run-run reindeer
A-run-run reindeer
A-run-run reindeer
A-run-run reindeer
(He don't miss no one)

And hauling through the snow at a frightening speed
With a half a dozen deer with a' Rudy to lead.
He's gotta wear his goggles 'cause the snow really flies
And he's cruising every pad with a little surprise.

It's the little Saint Nick
(ooh little Saint Nick)
It's the little Saint Nick
(ooh little Saint Nick)

Ooh, Merry Christmas Day
(Christmas comes this time each year)

explanation...

2005-12-05T09:31:00.000-08:00

the twin posed a question on a comment on a post. so, i'm here to answer.

Chris said...
Okay. Like the Christmas songs. But I'd like to hear from YOU now! lol. Where the hell are you getting all this friggin' Xmas cheer??
9:23 AM

ok twin....here's your answer.

I HATE THIS $*&#$%# HOLIDAY!!

the stores are too crowded to just go in & get essentials, because there are people who are more well off than i (or they just don't pay their bills this time of year....)

i don't have enough money to buy what i want. hell, i don't even have enough to pay the bills... (but who's complaining? oh that's right....ME!)

i miss my family. i miss them so much. my daddy, mom, pop, bubba & kat. it was so wonderful to see them last year (when i went home for a visit...1st one in 10 years!) and its amazing how they've all changed. and i missed out on so much. and this is the time of year when you need to be with your family. i mean, isn't that what you learn when you're a kid? christmas is about family?

i feel like shit. complete, total, royal shit. and its ongoing, everyday, nonstop. the back, the legs, the arms, the head. everything is progressively getting worse. some nights i can't move for shit. i swear, if i hadn't just had my 33rd birthday...i'd say i was 93 and on death's door. and it sucks. cause i've still got the mind of a 23 year old. my body has played a very cruel trick on me.

i am tired. tired of cleaning, cooking, tending, making, baking, creating, painting, beautifying, redoing....you get the hint. i'm in hell. cause hell is filled with repetitious crap that makes you go insane, right?!?!?!? so this is the 7th level of hell and my children are satan's disciples. and my ex is satan! OMG!! I'VE FIGURED IT OUT!!!

but this post was supposed to be about WHERE I'M GETTING HOLIDAY SPIRIT FROM, right? sorry...i digress..i do that alot, ya know.

i guess....i am a pollyana whitaker at heart. i want to believe in the goodness of nature, goodness of man. this is the season of perpetual hope. (and right now i'm really hoping that i'll get run over by a mack truck...) i want to find things to be glad about. i need to find things to be glad about.

cause if i don't....i'm going to go mad & you're going to see me on KTLA's 10 o'clock news....shooting from a clock tower somewhere.

and yes, mostly i do it for the kids. and might i add...i do a hell of a job! :) (you know, my 10 year old still believes in santa! :)) they need to know that there is nothing going on in their world other than the new spongebob "where's gary" episodes and the next season of avatar is quickly approaching. i mean, when i was a kid...i had no clue that my parents despised each other & was quite shocked when they announced their divorce.

so i'm putting on the happy face. overdoing on the decorations, buying shit i can't afford, making promises i can't keep but will because that's just me.

and i'm hoping that somewhere in the process, i'll find christmas. or maybe it'll find me. might be nice not to have to chase something for a change....

merry christmas twin....things could be worse. don't have any examples for you right now, but they could be. just live with it. lol! :)

and a very merry christmas everyone. now, does anyone know the # of a good chiropractor?

20 days to go....

2005-12-05T01:06:00.000-08:00

Holly Jolly Christmas
Johnny Marks (c) 1962

Have a holly, jolly Christmas;
It's the best time of the year
I don't know if there'll be snow,
but have a cup of cheer.

Have a holly, jolly Christmas;
And when you walk down the street
Say Hello to friends you know
and everyone you meet.

Oh, ho, the mistletoe
hung where you can see;
Somebody waits for you;
Kiss her once for me.

Have a holly jolly Christmas,
and in case you didn't hear,
Oh by golly, have a holly,
jolly Christmas this year.

drama queen goes overtime...

2005-12-04T21:19:00.000-08:00

i swear, bette davis is channeling through my 5 year old....

we were sitting in the livingroom, ending our sunday, watching santa claus is coming to town & eating our late night PB&J's....and all of a sudden...eating had become a contest. and no one else was in on it but lea.

let me explain something about my diva, self-centered queen bee, HRH, master of her domain. lately she's been obsessed about being 1st. for everything...and i do mean everything. getting into the car, getting into the shower, out of the shower, into the house, on the sofa, to the table, to finish food, to brush her teeth, to pee....you get the idea.

and we, the collective normal household, have been patient with HRH's latest stint with being #1. but this evening was the end-all-be-all of melodrama in the livingroom.

like i said, we were winding down for the night, tv, eats, the like...when lea (who up to this point had really been oblivious to the fact that other people were in the room...) looked up to view her domain and much to her chagrin...everyone else was finished with their delectables.

and she was last. O...M...G...becky (don't know the reference, you didn't grow up in the 80's...)

lea, most pathetic & sad, "i'm last??"

me, refocusing, "huh??"

lea, even sadder with weepy puppy eyes, " everyone else is done?? I'M LAST?!?!?!?!?"

me, puzzled, "were we having a contest i wasn't aware of?"

lea, chin now quivering with gloom, "...but mom...", starts to sob

me, "??????????????????????????????????????????????????", and looks to the crowd with a WHAT-THE-HELL-JUST-HAPPENED look.

lea, in full bette davis whining mode, "I DON'T WANNA BE LAST!!!!!!!!!!!! WHY AM I LAST????????"

me, getting a severe case of heartburn from laughing my ass off, "because its so cute on you! and besides, we all finished before you!"

lea now tears out of the room straight for her "chamber of solitude" AKA the bathroom to:

1. sob loudly (the acoustics in there are GREAT for dramatic sobbings...its more dramatic that way...did i mention there was drama involved?)

&

2. curse me (as bad a cursing can be from a 5 year old..."my other mom (WHAT?!?!?) never did this to me!"...she & i are going to talk about this one after the conniption is over...).

she then marches out of the bathroom (you've seen archival footage of the goose-stepping marching armies of hitler? LIKE THAT MARCHING!! good lord, who is she channeling NOW?!?!?!?) into the livingroom, only to give me (and everyone else who is laughing at this point...which is EVERYONE) the evil eye & proceed to beat the shit out of my hall curtain.

i swear i never did drugs when i was pregnant with her. and yes, she's only 5.

towards the end of her tyraid, even the 3 year old was teasing her... "LEA LAST!! LEA LAST!!" in his cute, little cherubic voice. this only makes the queen of the melodrama madder than a hornet.

ever seen someone "hopping mad"? I DID! :)

i swear....one day....there will be an Oscar. i know it. one day.

21 days to go....

2005-12-04T07:37:00.000-08:00

It's the most wonderful time of the year
Eddie Pola, George Wyle 1963

It's the most wonderful time of the year.
With the kids jingle belling,
and everyone telling you,
"Be of good cheer,"
It's the most wonderful time of the year.

It's the hap-happiest season of all
With those holiday greetings
And great happy meetings
When friends come to call
It's the hap-happiest season of all

There'll be parties for hosting,
marshmallows for toasting and
caroling out in the snow.
there'll be scary ghost stories and
tales of the glories of Christmases
long, long ago.

It's the most wonderful time of the year.
There'll be much mistletoeing
and hearts will be glowing,
when loved ones are near.
It's the most wonderful time of the year.

remember....

2005-12-02T23:28:00.000-08:00

remember christmastime? remember what it was like to believe in santa? remember how you felt christmas morning? running out to see what had been left for you??

remember that complete feeling of contentment? knowing that everyone you loved was right there with you; and in that moment, everything was perfect. there was no fighting (well, no real fighting....over who got what does not constitute as real fighting on christmas...), no bad blood, no grudges, no ill will.

just peace.
content.
quiet.
reflective.
utopian.

you know what i'm talking about.

i know that what i'm doing here is somewhat cheesy....with the holiday songs and what not....but you know what? some people need to believe again.

need to believe that there is some good out there. that not everything is going wrong for them today. that there is a silver lining, pot of gold, light at the end of the tunnel. that there IS a santa claus.

i believe in HIM. and he believes in YOU.

if you're reading this because you need to believe....i'm with you. i believe in you.

and together we can remember christmas.

22 days to go....

2005-12-02T23:18:00.000-08:00

It's In Every One Of Us
~ sung by John Denver / Written by D. Pomeranz

It's in every one of us
To be wise
Find your heart
Open up both your eyes
We can all know everything
Without ever knowing why
It's in every one of us
By and by

It's in every one of us
To be wise
Find your heart
Open up both your eyes
We can all know everything
Without ever knowing why
It's in every one of us
By and by
By and by

23 days to go....

2005-12-02T07:48:00.000-08:00

White Christmas

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas
Just like the ones I used to know

Where the treetops glisten and children listen
To hear sleigh bells in the snow

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas
With every Christmas card I write

May your days be merry and bright
And may all your Christmases be white

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas
With every Christmas card I write

May your days be merry and bright
And may all your Christmases be white.

24 days to go....

2005-12-01T13:55:00.000-08:00

The Christmas Song

Chestnuts roasting on an open fire
Jack Frost nipping at your nose
Yule-tide carols being sung by a choir
And folks dressed up like Eskimos.

Everybody knows a turkey
and some mistletoe
Help to make the season bright
Tiny tots with their eyes all aglow
Will find it hard to sleep tonight.

They know that Santa's on his way
He's loaded lots of toys
and goodies on his sleigh

And every mother's child is gonna spy
To see if reindeer
really know how to fly.

And so I'm offering this simple phrase
To kids from one to ninety-two
Although it's been said
many times, many ways
Merry Christmas to you.

ok....

2005-12-01T13:53:00.000-08:00

unless shit really hits the fan this month, i will NOT be ranting. i'm going to devote the next few days/weeks to the celebration of christmas. maybe this will get me in more of a mood. and maybe help out a few of my friends too.

so here we go folks....

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

what is your life worth?

2005-11-29T16:20:00.000-08:00

What is your life worth? And I’m not talking about monetary, stocks & bonds, how much money you’ve got in your bank account, who’ll miss you when you’re gone, how many friends you’ve got, bullshit. What is your life WORTH? What is it any more? What is your worth as a human being? What is anybody’s worth? What is mine?

I was cleaning out my closet this afternoon, in yet another desperate attempt to keep myself busy because I was bored out of my gourd. Nothing to do, no where to go, no children to mommy & even though ‘tis the season, nothing to bake & no money to shop. So I found myself standing in front of my closet….cleaning it out. And it just struck me as really sad.

For you see in my closet there are thing that remind me of things that I’ll never have, never be, never do, things that I can’t get anymore.

Inside my closet, I have a blue Holly Hobby dress that my mother made me when I was about 6 years old. This was probably the best time in the relationship between my mother & myself. We were best friends. We did everything together. Went all sorts of places with each other. We were rarely out of one another’s company. Now, the noticing of this dress, was not the desire to wear it again….heavens no. But that the relationship between me & mom will never, ever be like that again. Mom & I do not get along. And it saddens me to know that we will never have one of those Hallmark relationships. Not that those are great….they are slightly too sugary for my taste….but she & I will never enjoy the company of each other as an adult….and that makes me sad.

I also found some maternity dresses. Listening to all the advice from my well-meaning albeit overbearing MIL, my soon-to-be-but-probably-will-never-come-to-pass ex-husband, my eldest daughter & various SIL’s….I had myself neutered after delivering Jake. So this has made me incapable of ever having another child again. Now I know what you’re saying…..Jen, dear, sweet insane woman….you’ve got 4 kids. Why on EARTH would you want more? Because I would. Simple. And now I can’t. And seeing those dresses in the closet is a grim reminder of that stark fact.

I found an old dress I bought…..probably when I was about 21…from Express. It’s a hoochie dress. I was a size 7 back then. Slim, slender waist, hips & legs….more than perky twins. And I will be the first to admit…..DAMN, I looked good in it. That will never happen again. Not only have I become very motherly in physical appearance, but motherly mentally too. I don’t think that I could ever pull off wearing such an outfit again, without lecturing the girls on not wearing something so provocative & slutty. I looked like a Bratz doll and that’s something that I won’t let them do at all. “Mommy will have to kill you both if you walk around town looking like this….”

I also found various outfits in ranging sizes…all of whom will never find their way onto this fat ass again….not since post-natal, pre-spinal detriment, pre-screwed up thyroid, pre-lazyass jen… have set in. shit I will never be able to wear again. No matter how hard I try, no matter how many pills they give me….there is no way I’m ever going to be back into those outfits again….no way. I’m just never going to be able to take this weight off.

And the saddest thing I found in my closet of wonders was my wedding dress. Well 2 wedding dresses to be exact. Funny story:

I bought my wedding dress on eBay. A very beautiful wedding dress might I add. And yes….eBay, deal with it. I don’t know how you would categorize these years….the OO’s…the aughts…I don’t know. Be that as it may, the time is now. And you can really find some really good shit on eBay. There is also some real shit on eBay too.

And yes I found a really beautiful, very reasonably priced wedding gown on eBay. In the hopes that one day….one day….I will be able to wear it. You know? I didn’t get a chance to wear a wedding dress to my first wedding. The first one, I was very much inebriated and in a very short, blue dress-thingy. Wow. That was a depressing day.

Funny thing is that the guys I bought it from sent me ANOTHER dress (which is not as pretty but is closer to the color I wanted) and when I emailed him about the mix-up he sent me my dress along with a little gift…..a tiara! Now anyone who knows me, knows my small yet prized tiara collection. I feel like Cinderella, I want to be Cinderella. Yet most days I’m cleaning the cinders of evil step-sisters & wicked step-mothers in the kitchen. Ahhh…the life of a secretly hidden fairy princess can be so cruel.

I digress….back to the rant.

So here I have my wedding dress. I even have my little poufy underslip to make my dress all poufy & pretty. And you know, I don’t thing I’m ever going to wear it. And that sucks.

I mean, its not like other peoples closets, who have wedding dresses that they’ve worn. They have great memories of being in their dress…having photo albums & video to prove it. I only have a made-up memory of what I would have looked like in that dress….complete with groom, children, flowers, music & laughter.

But more than likely I will never see this dream come to fruition.

We can’t afford to get married. Plain & simple. Weddings, even cheapy weddings…are too costly for me. I’ve got 4 kids to clothe, feed & take care of. A wedding is not in the cards, oh fellow blog readers.

My husband, being who he is & what he is...is never going to grant me a divorce. And I can’t afford to get one on my own. I don’t have the time or the physical wherewithal to stand in the 6+hour line to get the free divorce. They just make it so difficult to get divorced in this Godforsaken state.

We can’t afford to get married. Did I mention that already?

You know how easy it is to get married anymore?? Shit, in Vegas, they have drive-thru windows! And here all that is required is your birth certificate & $40.00. No blood tests, no are you sure you wanna do this classes, nothing.

But to get divorced? You need to travel to the depths of the Yucatan, spelunk in a 6,000ft deep cave well, find a rare cave fish who knows his name is “Steve”, teach it to dress in drag & do the hula & then….you have to wait 6 months for the divorce to be finalized. A “cooling off period” they call it. You know, chances are, that if you’re filing for divorce, you’ve given it plenty of thought….and you want it NOW and its not been a spur of the moment thing.

I’ve come to the conclusion that henry is never going to pay to get the divorce done. He likes it this way. Has his little wife on one end of a tether…..pulling it when he feels she needs a jerk. And then on the other, he strings along all the other women in his life…. He gets the best of both worlds. What man wouldn’t like that?? And I married him WHY?!?!?!? Oh…that’s right….i was DRUNK. Case closed.

So….here I sit. Wondering what I am worth. Really? When does good shit happen to good people? Why do I always get the raw deal? When is someone else going to get it without K-Y? Why do I always get heartburn when I get upset? Why can’t the dog die already?

I think I hear a bottle of scotch calling my name…..or is that the dog?

holy fractured holiday batman!

2005-11-29T09:35:00.000-08:00

hola everyone.

i have no energy today. why?

because there is a million things to do in the house. isn't that always the case? AND I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT DECEMBER IS HERE! well, thursday it'll be here...but HELL!! when did the year fly by like this?

remember when you were a kid?? it took, like, forever....for the holidays to come. for your birthday to get here. and now it seems as if they all blurr into one huge "HA HA YOU'RE GETTING OLDER & CAN'T AFFORD SHIT" holiday neener-neener-neener. KWIM?

when did holidays become un-fun? cause i know a couple of parents. yeah, sure, we all love the look on our kids faces during the holiday season. when they get to open their gift & their eyes sparkle. but after that, we hate it. its not fun like it used to be.

they make me want to run & curl into a fetal position in the corner of my closet. not fun, i assure you. even you sicko's out there. fetal position is no picnic (especially with my bad back).

so here i am. on the apex of the largest holiday known to man. christmas.

CHRISTMAS! holy jibas!! i'm not ready! my kids don't have NEARLY enough stuff (even though my wonderful DC has kept meticulous records on his nerd program....::SiGH::...yes girls, he's all mine....) and according to that, we have approximately the same number, both in quantity & price....for all 4 kids.

but you NEVER have enough for your kids. you know that.

and i feel bad. there are more cool toys that they want, not that they necessarily deserve (heavens NO!), but that you want to bestow on them, nonetheless. they're all wonderful this time of year, ever notice that??

but hell, they'll get more from me than they will their father. that's for sure. i'm practically done with all my shopping. and the only thing that he's garnered for the kids thus far, is what I bought him the other day (yes....i know....jen, you SAP! but hey....they're my babies!)

so here i am. freaking out, worrying, cleaning (well...not really....my bed is SOOOOO comfy)

is it january yet?

i'm done! :) (updated)

2005-11-27T18:34:00.000-08:00

well...how do you all like the look?? i've been tweaking it all weekend (thanks to my DC...) and i think this is going to be the final look.

i'm kinda happy with the layout....any opinions??

UPDATE:

ok twin....no more pepto. better? lol!