explanation...
the twin posed a question on a comment on a post. so, i'm here to answer.
Chris said...
Okay. Like the Christmas songs. But I'd like to hear from YOU now! lol. Where the hell are you getting all this friggin' Xmas cheer??
9:23 AM
ok twin....here's your answer.
I HATE THIS $*&#$%# HOLIDAY!!
the stores are too crowded to just go in & get essentials, because there are people who are more well off than i (or they just don't pay their bills this time of year....)
i don't have enough money to buy what i want. hell, i don't even have enough to pay the bills... (but who's complaining? oh that's right....ME!)
i miss my family. i miss them so much. my daddy, mom, pop, bubba & kat. it was so wonderful to see them last year (when i went home for a visit...1st one in 10 years!) and its amazing how they've all changed. and i missed out on so much. and this is the time of year when you need to be with your family. i mean, isn't that what you learn when you're a kid? christmas is about family?
i feel like shit. complete, total, royal shit. and its ongoing, everyday, nonstop. the back, the legs, the arms, the head. everything is progressively getting worse. some nights i can't move for shit. i swear, if i hadn't just had my 33rd birthday...i'd say i was 93 and on death's door. and it sucks. cause i've still got the mind of a 23 year old. my body has played a very cruel trick on me.
i am tired. tired of cleaning, cooking, tending, making, baking, creating, painting, beautifying, redoing....you get the hint. i'm in hell. cause hell is filled with repetitious crap that makes you go insane, right?!?!?!? so this is the 7th level of hell and my children are satan's disciples. and my ex is satan! OMG!! I'VE FIGURED IT OUT!!!
but this post was supposed to be about WHERE I'M GETTING HOLIDAY SPIRIT FROM, right? sorry...i digress..i do that alot, ya know.
i guess....i am a pollyana whitaker at heart. i want to believe in the goodness of nature, goodness of man. this is the season of perpetual hope. (and right now i'm really hoping that i'll get run over by a mack truck...) i want to find things to be glad about. i need to find things to be glad about.
cause if i don't....i'm going to go mad & you're going to see me on KTLA's 10 o'clock news....shooting from a clock tower somewhere.
and yes, mostly i do it for the kids. and might i add...i do a hell of a job! :) (you know, my 10 year old still believes in santa! :)) they need to know that there is nothing going on in their world other than the new spongebob "where's gary" episodes and the next season of avatar is quickly approaching. i mean, when i was a kid...i had no clue that my parents despised each other & was quite shocked when they announced their divorce.
so i'm putting on the happy face. overdoing on the decorations, buying shit i can't afford, making promises i can't keep but will because that's just me.
and i'm hoping that somewhere in the process, i'll find christmas. or maybe it'll find me. might be nice not to have to chase something for a change....
merry christmas twin....things could be worse. don't have any examples for you right now, but they could be. just live with it. lol! :)
and a very merry christmas everyone. now, does anyone know the # of a good chiropractor?
Chris said...
Okay. Like the Christmas songs. But I'd like to hear from YOU now! lol. Where the hell are you getting all this friggin' Xmas cheer??
9:23 AM
ok twin....here's your answer.
I HATE THIS $*&#$%# HOLIDAY!!
the stores are too crowded to just go in & get essentials, because there are people who are more well off than i (or they just don't pay their bills this time of year....)
i don't have enough money to buy what i want. hell, i don't even have enough to pay the bills... (but who's complaining? oh that's right....ME!)
i miss my family. i miss them so much. my daddy, mom, pop, bubba & kat. it was so wonderful to see them last year (when i went home for a visit...1st one in 10 years!) and its amazing how they've all changed. and i missed out on so much. and this is the time of year when you need to be with your family. i mean, isn't that what you learn when you're a kid? christmas is about family?
i feel like shit. complete, total, royal shit. and its ongoing, everyday, nonstop. the back, the legs, the arms, the head. everything is progressively getting worse. some nights i can't move for shit. i swear, if i hadn't just had my 33rd birthday...i'd say i was 93 and on death's door. and it sucks. cause i've still got the mind of a 23 year old. my body has played a very cruel trick on me.
i am tired. tired of cleaning, cooking, tending, making, baking, creating, painting, beautifying, redoing....you get the hint. i'm in hell. cause hell is filled with repetitious crap that makes you go insane, right?!?!?!? so this is the 7th level of hell and my children are satan's disciples. and my ex is satan! OMG!! I'VE FIGURED IT OUT!!!
but this post was supposed to be about WHERE I'M GETTING HOLIDAY SPIRIT FROM, right? sorry...i digress..i do that alot, ya know.
i guess....i am a pollyana whitaker at heart. i want to believe in the goodness of nature, goodness of man. this is the season of perpetual hope. (and right now i'm really hoping that i'll get run over by a mack truck...) i want to find things to be glad about. i need to find things to be glad about.
cause if i don't....i'm going to go mad & you're going to see me on KTLA's 10 o'clock news....shooting from a clock tower somewhere.
and yes, mostly i do it for the kids. and might i add...i do a hell of a job! :) (you know, my 10 year old still believes in santa! :)) they need to know that there is nothing going on in their world other than the new spongebob "where's gary" episodes and the next season of avatar is quickly approaching. i mean, when i was a kid...i had no clue that my parents despised each other & was quite shocked when they announced their divorce.
so i'm putting on the happy face. overdoing on the decorations, buying shit i can't afford, making promises i can't keep but will because that's just me.
and i'm hoping that somewhere in the process, i'll find christmas. or maybe it'll find me. might be nice not to have to chase something for a change....
merry christmas twin....things could be worse. don't have any examples for you right now, but they could be. just live with it. lol! :)
and a very merry christmas everyone. now, does anyone know the # of a good chiropractor?
posted by jeni at 9:31 AM
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