Welcome to the Criffs of Insanity! She's crass, she's loud, she's obnoxious....but she's got a neat & tidy linen closet. These are the rantings of Keebler Jen...careful...watch out for hot lava.



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Name: jeni
Location: Norwalk, California, United States

who am i? i'm a mom (got 5), a girlfriend (got 1), an ex-wife (got 1), a sister (got 2), a hell of a friend (got a few) & a should-have-been southern belle (will have a plantation one day...). i'm what you would call compulsive about my linen closet & i have an unnatural attachment to my cat fred.

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The current mood of jenimoo at www.imood.com

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Prior Keebler Rants

  • thursday thirteen! :)
  • so we got this idea...
  • well...
  • i am so...
  • i swear...
  • Friday Four..but delayed to Saturday
  • Thursday Thirteen.....
  • just
  • moving news....
  • WTG MOMMA!!

Older Rants

  • November 2005
  • December 2005
  • January 2006
  • February 2006
  • March 2006

    • Books on my nightstand

  • The Historian - Elizabeth Kostova
  • A Time for Freedom - Lynne Cheney
  • Family--The ties that bind & gag! - Erma Bombeck
  • If life is a bowl of cherries...what am i doing in the pits? - Erma Bombeck
  • Rise, Let Us Be On Our Way - John Paul II

    • dates that are important to me

  • January 1 - New Years Day
  • January 4 - Daddy Henry's Birthday
  • January 20 - Grandma Maria's Birthday
  • January 20 - Aunt Kathe's Birthday
  • February 2 - Groundhog Day
  • February 5 - Super Bowl XL
  • February 11 - Thaddeus' Birthday
  • February 14 - Valentine's Day
  • March 17 - St. Patty's Day
  • March 29 - Grandpa Horace's Birthday
  • April 1 - April Fools Day
  • April 1 - Kristin's Birthday
  • April 4 - Lea Caroline's Birthday
  • May 1 - Auntie Kristin's Birthday
  • May 3 - Grandma Annie's Birthday
  • May 18 - Nana's Birthday
  • May 14 - Mother's Day
  • May 29 - Memorial Day
  • June 4 - Daddy Dale's Birthday
  • June 18 - Father's Day
  • July 4 - Independence Day
  • July 24 - Nana & Papa's Anniversary
  • August 4 - Jacob Ethan's Birthday
  • August 21 - Grandma Dona's Birthday
  • August 22 - Gabe's Birthday
  • September 4 - Labor Day
  • September 17 - Grandma Dona & Grandpa Horace's Anniversary
  • October 2 - Tanya's Birthday
  • October 10 - Grandpa Dennis' Birthday
  • October 26 - Papa's Birthday
  • October 31 - Halloween
  • October 31 - Grandpa Ken's Birthday
  • November 8 - Uncle Bubba's Birthday
  • November 15 - Jenette's Birthday
  • November 23 - Happy Turkey Day
  • November 25 - Jen's hatching day
  • December 20 - Claudia's Birthday
  • December 24 - Christmas Eve
  • December 25 - Christmas Day
  • December 31 - New Years Eve
    •

    keep your closets clean! :)

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Monday, January 23, 2006

what do you write about....

when you've got writer's block?

i got smacked earlier cause i said i've never experienced this before. apparently, if you're a "writer" you go through bouts of it. as the smack let me know, my DC has had his share of this turmoil.

so back to what i was saying.....what do you do?

i've never been a "writer". i just wrote. whatever, wherever. i never really thought about it. and now that i'm doing it much more (at the gentle noodge of my sweetie, who swears up & down that i am a better writer than he...) i am at a stand still.

  • first off, the kids aren't here this week, so there are no cute little lea-dotes to write about.
  • secondly, i've reached a plateau on my weightloss. and what's a girl to write about if not her shrinking thighs?
  • thirdly, its down right chilly here in so cal. what that has to do with writing, i have no clue.
  • and lastly, i could write about how a thread on my email loop with some of my dearest friends is a RE: baptism gifts....what to give? yet is now delving into the sordid life of SAHM's & the sexual favors they bestow upon their male companions.
yes, i knew that would get you attention. and i know i said i was southern. but i also grew up in miami. hence, sometimes the little slut in me comes out. and apparently in that of my SS girls! lol!!

and you thought boys were the grossest sex on the planet. HA! at my age i've come to the summation that:

  • any boy who brags about his sex life......has none.
  • the number of girls he's slept with........divide by 3.
  • he is not as endowed as he says he is.
  • his ex girlfriends will attest to this fact.
  • girls are more descriptive & nasty when discussing the opposite sex.
  • we never brag about our sex life.....and its way better than anything you could imagine.
  • the number of guys we've slept with.......multiply by 3.
  • i am that good....i choose to act demure.
  • all my ex's will attest to that fact.
hm.....well, i guess i did have something to write about after all!

i wonder what i'll write about when writer's block strikes me next?

posted by jeni at 10:19 PM

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sure i'm funny. and hell's yeah, i've got some funny shit on here. but it's MINE.
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