Welcome to the Criffs of Insanity! She's crass, she's loud, she's obnoxious....but she's got a neat & tidy linen closet. These are the rantings of Keebler Jen...careful...watch out for hot lava.
who am i? i'm a mom (got 5), a girlfriend (got 1), an ex-wife (got 1), a sister (got 2), a hell of a friend (got a few) & a should-have-been southern belle (will have a plantation one day...). i'm what you would call compulsive about my linen closet & i have an unnatural attachment to my cat fred.
1. jenny - the whole reason i became a mother. sure she's a pain in the ass. yeah, we've been through some rough spots. of course, she thinks she knows better than i do...for just about everything. she knows i'd give up my last breath, if it meant her survival. i wouldn't trade her in for a million. i don't care what the birth certificate says. she's mine....for better, for worse, forever. (stuff that in your pipe & smoke it, g.) 2. the yeti aka claudia - she's furry, she's funny & she'll swear she's my twin. she still obsesses over her "blankie", which i adore. she's a taylor.....which is both scary & a blessing.....we taylors have a very warped sense of humor. she's got the best set of eyes i've ever seen, no matter what the doctor said. and with all her imperfections ....she's still perfect to me.
3. G-sq. - if a right wind comes creeping up behind him, yeah....he just might take off like a kite. so, he's more into gamecube than some addicts are into their fix. if you give him a topic, he'll damn near chew your ear off asking questions about it. he's got a wicked genius stroke. and in a pinch, some of the best GD hugs on the planet. OH! and he can draw to boot! :)
4. the bee girl - yes, as in bumble. this kid can go from 0 to 60 in about 2.8 flat....make porche wet themselves. she's got the most infectious laugh i've ever heard. and that's not biased, kids. facts only here. and for someone so cute, young & perky....she's got the oldest sense of presence i've ever seen....in anyone. you need to laugh? check out the bee. she'll get you grinnin' like the cheshire cat. 5. boo-boo-kitty - he's so GD cute, he's got his own theme song (written by mommy, of course!) and yes, i am aware his name is derived from J&SBSB..... and yes, occasionally the f**k creeps in there .....but only when he really pisses me off (and its always said under breath). the wunderkind of them all. ok, sure...i spoil him. but have you seen that face?? WHO COULDN'T?!?!?!? he was my light, when i was in so much darkness. 6. fred - yes, my cat made it to my list of things that rock my world. he's mean. he's surly. he's the grouchiest thing i've ever seen. he'll only drink water dripping from a faucet. he's spoiled rotten. but he's mine. ALL MINE. he's been my best friend, alarm clock, rock, shoulder & pillow. my own knight in fuzzy white armour.
7. bubba - my baby brother. my 28 year old baby brother. my 6 ft. 7 in. baby brother. my beer swillin' baby brother. my world class idjit (even worse than an idiot) baby brother. my still- lives- at- home- with- mommy baby brother. my should- have- been- dead- 6- years- ago- due- to- that- retard- friend- of-his baby brother. my fellow airplane!/the princess bride line spoutin' devotee baby brother. my i'm so grateful your still here due to said retard baby brother. my, my god, i'm so proud of you servin' your country baby brother.
8. kat - i guess its true. i was at the shit end of the gene pool. she's 6'1", long legs, no fat, great hair & hell-a-gorgeous. she's uber talented....and i do mean UBER. could quite possibly play any instrument given to her...just give her about 10 minutes to figure out the logistics. she's got terrible taste in men, but i don't hold it against her. she's wild, sweet & awesomely cool. and in a sticky situation, she'd give her left arm to help you out. my baby sis....love ya sugar!
9. dad - i will forever be a "daddy's girl"...no matter what my step-mother says. i'll never be to old to call him daddy. he was my first hero, my first crush, my first love. no man can compare to daddy (but a select few come damn near close). he taught me how to be better than a girl....how to be a tomboy. (and one would say a sexy tomboy at that). i learned to love nature, woodworking, football, tranny's, rebuilding, welding & electrical work...all thanks to him. he'll never be old to me, he'll always be #1.
10. pop - what could be better than 1 dad? TWO! he's funny, weird, gross & totally off his rocker. after all, he loves my mother! but he was a great stand-in when dad wasn't there. he taught me that its ok to laugh at myself. that there are some occasions that you just have to be goofier than hell. and that no matter what everyone says about your relationship....love endures. and the fact that's he's really trying hard to be all tough over in iraq right now....makes me love him just a smidge more.
11. nana - its been 28 years now that i lost you. pain still raw, but love eternally overflowing. the memory of you is emblazoned on my mind....i don't think its diminished one iota. you were the epitome of class. you taught me what it meant to be a "lady". to love the finer things in life. that if you can't afford it now, there's no stopping you from getting it except a little time & effort. you were the kindest most gentle soul i've ever had the chance to know & was fortunate enough to be related to. i miss the flower garden, the gentle smell of your perfume as you entered the room, the soft touch of your hand on my little head. i don't know what else to say, but i miss you nana. and say hi to everyone up there for me! :)
12. mom - the person that i clash most with. the lady who made me use 4 letter words on a daily basis...under my breath (they raised me southern, so of course i'm respectful....to their face;) ). the reason i missed most after-school fun days in high school, cause she was/is/will always be a grounding freak. the only person i can't understand....can't comprehend.....can't seem to get through to.....can't seem to stop loving. even though you make me even more insane person than i already am....you made me into this great woman you see before you. i'm stronger because of you. i'm more determined because of you. and i'm a great mom....because of you. love you mom....even if i have to wear one of those funny jackets one day.
13. dc - dale - daley - sir dale - mr. roe....i haven't forgotten that first day in computer class. mainly because everyone told me that i was going to be in the class with the "weird kid". only thing i thought was weird about you? that you didn't smile NEARLY enough. i love that smile. even though you hate it. i love the fact that i have all those incriminating pictures of you in a sequined vest...and that i rub that in. i love being able to tease you about everything....and nothing at all. i am in awe of the fact that you were brave enough to take on one looney fucking chick & her 4 wild heathens. i adore the fact that above anything else, we're best friends first. i still tear, remembering when i held your hand that day in november; my heart aches for you--it'll never be right or just in my book. i'm grateful for the time that we've had together. and i'm damn near giddy with anticipation for whatever may come our way. a girl couldn't be luckier than i am. thanks for being....just you. and no matter what any one says....YOU TOTALLY FUCKING ROCK!!! (yeah...i know....i cussed. but i'm an adult now! :) )
The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!
<< Home