Welcome to the Criffs of Insanity! She's crass, she's loud, she's obnoxious....but she's got a neat & tidy linen closet. These are the rantings of Keebler Jen...careful...watch out for hot lava.



About Me

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Name: jeni
Location: Norwalk, California, United States

who am i? i'm a mom (got 5), a girlfriend (got 1), an ex-wife (got 1), a sister (got 2), a hell of a friend (got a few) & a should-have-been southern belle (will have a plantation one day...). i'm what you would call compulsive about my linen closet & i have an unnatural attachment to my cat fred.

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The current mood of jenimoo at www.imood.com

D'oh!

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Prior Keebler Rants

  • holiday edition meme
  • 12 days to go....
  • 13 days.....
  • 14 days....
  • 15 days...
  • 16 days....and possibly feeling the spirit...
  • 17 days to go....and i'm in a miserable mood.
  • 18 days... (please turn up your volume & LET IT LO...
  • as dc says...
  • 19 days to go...(sorry i was late....)

Older Rants

  • November 2005
  • December 2005
  • January 2006
  • February 2006
  • March 2006
  • Books on my nightstand

  • The Historian - Elizabeth Kostova
  • A Time for Freedom - Lynne Cheney
  • Family--The ties that bind & gag! - Erma Bombeck
  • If life is a bowl of cherries...what am i doing in the pits? - Erma Bombeck
  • Rise, Let Us Be On Our Way - John Paul II
  • dates that are important to me

  • January 1 - New Years Day
  • January 4 - Daddy Henry's Birthday
  • January 20 - Grandma Maria's Birthday
  • January 20 - Aunt Kathe's Birthday
  • February 2 - Groundhog Day
  • February 5 - Super Bowl XL
  • February 11 - Thaddeus' Birthday
  • February 14 - Valentine's Day
  • March 17 - St. Patty's Day
  • March 29 - Grandpa Horace's Birthday
  • April 1 - April Fools Day
  • April 1 - Kristin's Birthday
  • April 4 - Lea Caroline's Birthday
  • May 1 - Auntie Kristin's Birthday
  • May 3 - Grandma Annie's Birthday
  • May 18 - Nana's Birthday
  • May 14 - Mother's Day
  • May 29 - Memorial Day
  • June 4 - Daddy Dale's Birthday
  • June 18 - Father's Day
  • July 4 - Independence Day
  • July 24 - Nana & Papa's Anniversary
  • August 4 - Jacob Ethan's Birthday
  • August 21 - Grandma Dona's Birthday
  • August 22 - Gabe's Birthday
  • September 4 - Labor Day
  • September 17 - Grandma Dona & Grandpa Horace's Anniversary
  • October 2 - Tanya's Birthday
  • October 10 - Grandpa Dennis' Birthday
  • October 26 - Papa's Birthday
  • October 31 - Halloween
  • October 31 - Grandpa Ken's Birthday
  • November 8 - Uncle Bubba's Birthday
  • November 15 - Jenette's Birthday
  • November 23 - Happy Turkey Day
  • November 25 - Jen's hatching day
  • December 20 - Claudia's Birthday
  • December 24 - Christmas Eve
  • December 25 - Christmas Day
  • December 31 - New Years Eve
  • keep your closets clean! :)

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Wednesday, December 14, 2005

11 frantic & festive days left...


so, what do YOU have left to do before the inevitable? (kids bitching cause they didn't get what they asked for....)

as for me....i've basically got EVERYTHING left to do!! LOL!! i've got no santa presents, haven't gotten the kids any clothes, don't have things for my friend(s) .....oh my god becky.....someone shoot me.

CHRISTMAS IS 11 FRICKEN DAYS FROM NOW!!

and for todays submission, one of my favorites from my childhood....(OH MOMMY!!! ((VBEG)) ...and yes, my brother's name is john, i did break tons of shit on his head...just not a bat...lol! sorry bubba! I LOVE YOU!!)

Nuttin' For Christmas
S. Tepper, R. Bennett (c) 1955

I broke my bat on Johnny's head;
Somebody snitched on me.
I hid a frog in sister's bed;
Somebody snitched on me.


I spilled some ink on Mommy's rug;
I made Tommy eat a bug;
Bought some gum with a penny slug;
Somebody snitched on me.

Oh, I'm gettin' nuttin' for Christmas
Mommy and Daddy are mad.
I'm getting nuttin' for Christmas
'Cause I ain't been nuttin' but bad.

I put a tack on teacher's chair
somebody snitched on me.
I tied a knot in Susie's hair
somebody snitched on me.

I did a dance on Mommy's plants
climbed a tree and tore my pants
Filled the sugar bowl with ants
somebody snitched on me.

So, I'm gettin' nuttin' for Christmas
Mommy and Daddy are mad.
I'm gettin' nuttin' for Christmas
'Cause I ain't been nuttin' but bad.

I won't be seeing Santa Claus;
Somebody snitched on me.
He won't come visit me because
Somebody snitched on me.

Next year I'll be going straight;
Next year I'll be good, just wait
I'd start right now, but it's too late;
Somebody snitched on me.

So you better be good whatever you do
'Cause if you're bad, I'm warning you,
You'll get nuttin' for Christmas!!


posted by jeni at 6:23 PM

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sure i'm funny. and hell's yeah, i've got some funny shit on here. but it's MINE.
not even "THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU!" will save your rear.