Welcome to the Criffs of Insanity! She's crass, she's loud, she's obnoxious....but she's got a neat & tidy linen closet. These are the rantings of Keebler Jen...careful...watch out for hot lava.



About Me

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Name: jeni
Location: Norwalk, California, United States

who am i? i'm a mom (got 5), a girlfriend (got 1), an ex-wife (got 1), a sister (got 2), a hell of a friend (got a few) & a should-have-been southern belle (will have a plantation one day...). i'm what you would call compulsive about my linen closet & i have an unnatural attachment to my cat fred.

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The current mood of jenimoo at www.imood.com

D'oh!

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Prior Keebler Rants

  • 10 things about Claudia...
  • it all started....
  • 5 more days....oh jesus....
  • yikes! only 6 more left!!!
  • 7 days doth a week make....
  • holiday meme III
  • 8 days left.....
  • love....
  • 9 days & counting....
  • only 10 shopping days left boys & girls!!

Older Rants

  • November 2005
  • December 2005
  • January 2006
  • February 2006
  • March 2006
  • Books on my nightstand

  • The Historian - Elizabeth Kostova
  • A Time for Freedom - Lynne Cheney
  • Family--The ties that bind & gag! - Erma Bombeck
  • If life is a bowl of cherries...what am i doing in the pits? - Erma Bombeck
  • Rise, Let Us Be On Our Way - John Paul II
  • dates that are important to me

  • January 1 - New Years Day
  • January 4 - Daddy Henry's Birthday
  • January 20 - Grandma Maria's Birthday
  • January 20 - Aunt Kathe's Birthday
  • February 2 - Groundhog Day
  • February 5 - Super Bowl XL
  • February 11 - Thaddeus' Birthday
  • February 14 - Valentine's Day
  • March 17 - St. Patty's Day
  • March 29 - Grandpa Horace's Birthday
  • April 1 - April Fools Day
  • April 1 - Kristin's Birthday
  • April 4 - Lea Caroline's Birthday
  • May 1 - Auntie Kristin's Birthday
  • May 3 - Grandma Annie's Birthday
  • May 18 - Nana's Birthday
  • May 14 - Mother's Day
  • May 29 - Memorial Day
  • June 4 - Daddy Dale's Birthday
  • June 18 - Father's Day
  • July 4 - Independence Day
  • July 24 - Nana & Papa's Anniversary
  • August 4 - Jacob Ethan's Birthday
  • August 21 - Grandma Dona's Birthday
  • August 22 - Gabe's Birthday
  • September 4 - Labor Day
  • September 17 - Grandma Dona & Grandpa Horace's Anniversary
  • October 2 - Tanya's Birthday
  • October 10 - Grandpa Dennis' Birthday
  • October 26 - Papa's Birthday
  • October 31 - Halloween
  • October 31 - Grandpa Ken's Birthday
  • November 8 - Uncle Bubba's Birthday
  • November 15 - Jenette's Birthday
  • November 23 - Happy Turkey Day
  • November 25 - Jen's hatching day
  • December 20 - Claudia's Birthday
  • December 24 - Christmas Eve
  • December 25 - Christmas Day
  • December 31 - New Years Eve
  • keep your closets clean! :)

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Wednesday, December 21, 2005

last night... (and mini rant....)

yesterday was ok. it was funny. the party (which started out as nothing such, but ended as...) was a hit. the kids kept inviting other kids from the complex over. we had originally intended for only 2 to go, then 4 were invited; the neighbor kids tried to invite themselves (more on this whole drama later...lol!) and in the end, only 3 accompanied us to claudia's shindig.

everyone from henry's side went (well, it seems like everyone, but its really not. to have them all (a good 75+) in one place at one time is a terrifying thought & an even scarier experience. i did it twice. never again. no more leeches, mom. no more leeches, mom.)

so, the kids went in, ran around like lunatics loose from the asylum. grownups ate & gossiped. his family was pleasant to dale. which is a first. they always manage to treat him like he has denege fever. its really quite sad. this from the family that lauded my own, cause we accepted jenette without hesitation, as my own child.

it is my understanding that people out west aren't that accomidating when it comes to inter-twining their family ties.

funny, you'd think they would considering that so many of the families out here more than not have more than one mom/dad/sister/brother/aunt/uncle combo. now, i'm not knocking this. my own immediate family consists of steps. and i myself am an excellent step-mom (just ask jenny....even on a bad day, i'm better than her real mother is (A WHOLE OTHER SET OF DRAMA THERE FOLKS!)

anywho, back to the party. she got lots of nice things. ate too much. drank too much. and definitely FLIRTED too much for my taste. yes, flirted. with the boy 2 doors down from us. he's a cutie-patootie, adam. but i'm afraid that if he comes within 3 feet of my daughter any time in the near future......i'm going to rearrange that cutie-patootie mug of his.

cute or no, back off of the poohbear.

and to top everything off, i was sick as a dog. and thanks to my sweetie, i am feeling somewhat better. i said somewhat. not completely. don't go expecting miracles folks. especially since the southern california weather gods have decided once again to revert back to summer.

i hate summer. have i ever told you all that? i grew up in miami. so i know summer. REAL SUMMER. humidity, bugs, heat, humidity, bugs, heat, humidity, bugs, heat...oh yeah....let's not forget to throw in TONS OF FUCKING RAIN every few hours, just to make things interesting. did i mention there was humidity, bugs & heat? so, i'm no stranger to heat.

and i hate it. despise it. loathe it. with a passion not known to many. it repulses me. makes me ill. makes me meaner than a hornet. and i really hate to sweat. so, i kinda liked so cal with its climate changes. yeah, it gets hot here. but not miami hot. so i can live.

BUT THIS SHIT IS ABSOFUCKINGRIDICULOUS!!!

weather forcasts for christmas day is 86!! 86!! what the hell?? if i wanted a hot christmas, i'd go spend it in miami with my wacko mother, bubba & kat! LIKE HELL I WANT A HOT HOLIDAY!!

WHO IS ASLEEP AT THE CONTROLS?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Yo! mother nature!! you forgot to switch us to WINTER!!

i'm going to have to use the air conditioner on christmas day. do you know how long its been since i've had to do that?? SINCE I LIVED IN MIAMI!! so, 1993?? good lord.

sorry....i digress. its the heat. makes me loopy. (no comments from the peanut gallery)

posted by jeni at 3:08 PM

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sure i'm funny. and hell's yeah, i've got some funny shit on here. but it's MINE.
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